The Kid Dictionary

Cynthia Dermody

toddler sticking out tongue

Photo by Nicholeb211

I came across a grown-up book I liked called The KidDictionary, by Eric Ruhalter, a father of three with a special talent for making up funny words. "People who have children in their lives to any degree have a profound need for many words that are not currently found in the dictionary," Ruhalter says. "I am introducing and defining these much needed terms."

I thought it was a quick and funny read, and I'm definitely living a number of them right now, including:

Curdler. A sippy cup with milk in it that's been lost under apiece of furniture for several weeks.

Fullish. Too full to eat more carrots, yet fully prepared to consume an ice cream cone.

Nocthurstal. A child's need for a bedside glass of water that they never drink from, but frequently spill.

Here are a few more of my favorites ...

TheKidDictionary coverInflaging. When a 4-year-old insists that she is 6.

Threequels. The three books you read to your kids AFTER you read them "the last book" before bed.

Disdress. The unfashionable looks achieved by toddlers who are just learning to dress themselves.

Shottup. To neglect to mention to your children that their visit to the doctor will yield not only a sticker and a lollipop, but also a sharp needle jabbed in their arm.

Monopolooze. To strategically lose a board game against an unsportsmanlike child.

Kinderwarp. A child's time-management logic by which he thinks he can watch a movie, play a video game, and have hot chocolate because bedtime is 8 p.m. and it's only 7:53.

Rewhine. The short light whine that a child emits immediately after you scold them to "Stop whining!"

Wishjack. To maliciously blow out the candles on another child's birthday cake.

A.M. Freeze. The early morning hope, upon hearing a stirring infant or toddler, that if you stay perfectly still and quiet they will go back to sleep. (Never in the history of parenting has this worked.)

Want more? You can order the book for $12 at

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