We all do it: Flood our friends' newsfeeds with the latest and greatest snaps of our precious progeny.
Ostensibly, we do it so, you know, we can keep everyone updated.
No, I don't think my kids are better than yours. This is just what's going on in my LIFE, thank you very much.
But whether we admit it to ourselves or not, the moment you click "upload," you usually have some very specific people in mind.
For instance ...
Your best friend. And they'd better not just "like" it like that last time. They'd better post a super complimentary comment with at least three exclamation points or it. is. on.
That college classmate with the annoyingly perfect life/family. Fine, yes, your towheaded brood looked amazing in their Bahamas tans, and your 5-year-old winning Jeopardy was mildly impressive. But look at the adorableness that is my son hugging the cat. LOOK, damn you!
Your ex that you're still friends with. Yeah, that's right -- check out this fine DNA your offspring could've had. Oh well. Snooze you lose.
That friend's spouse you have a secret crush on. Just "like" it. That's all. You don't even need to comment. But we'll both know what that like really means, right? It'll be our little secret code. Not that I want anything. I'm happily married and I would NEVER!
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Pedophiles. Ok, you've double-checked the privacy setting is "friends only" and you're pretty sure you're not friends with any pervs, but how well do you ever know someone? What if some animal sees these adorable pix and decides to jump in their molesto-mobile and make the drive to ... MY GOD, do we need to buy a gun?!
That guy/girl you only sorta know but have learned you agree with on EVERYTHING. Even if you don't like this or comment, I'll know you're thinking, "Right on."
Your significant other. You see what I'm doing here? This is called "showing everyone you appreciate what we have." Would it kill you to post a picture yourself every now and then? Maybe even of ME? Saying how awesome I am? Why are you so difficult?
Your kids. I mean, COME ON. Have you ever seen such gorgeousity? How a talent scout has not reached out to me yet is a totally mystery. Maybe I should change the privacy setting to "public" ...
Image via reidab/Flickr