Why You Should Never Nearly Crash Your Car Into a Mom Driving With Her Kids

Mom Moment 104

cars at stoplightA couple of weeks ago while in the middle of packing up what I thought was my dream house in the country to move back to the city a very changed woman, a small white car nearly crashed into my compact SUV as it pulled out of the shopping complex without seeing me directly in the lane she was driving into. My twins were in the backseat -- they are 3 1/2. It wasn't just any near miss to me. It was an almost accident where I envisioned far too much blood and destruction in the 3.5 seconds in which it nearly happened. She would have hit me on the driver's side -- head on to my door and the passenger door right where my daughter was strapped in and rear-facing. I have Radian car seats and know their side impact car seat safety was excellent, but it's not something I ever wanted to truly put to the test.

And the girl who almost hit me was me ... 17 years ago me.

She was young and look sweet and innocent and was probably a college student who had just went into the grocery store to stock up on noodles and butter -- my staples when I was a college student in the very same town this all happened in. And I know exactly what she looked like because I got out of my car to yell at her. She had really pretty long blonde hair that shined in the noontime sun.

It's a moment I am not particularly proud of. But certainly not the worst thing I've done in this town. It was my college town, after all.

However, my stress was at an all time high. I was (and am) going through a lot of personal stuff that no amount of online self-help or professional therapy could cure quickly enough. So my reaction wasn't the best, nor do I recommend it to anyone. Yes, she was in the wrong for bolting out of the parking lot she was in right into my lane, but I was wrong for being a raging lunatic screaming at her right there at the intersection while the light was still red. Yes, I had to swerve crazy hard to the right to avoid smashed glass and dented doors and heaven forbid hurt children. And thank goodness there was no one in that right lane. But I was wrong. Embarrassingly wrong. My son asked, "Mommy why did you yell at that lady?" after it all went down. I think he knew I was wrong, too. And here's how it went down.

The near miss. Me yelling at her with my window down as she was in front of me at the stop light. Me beeping my horn at her wanting her to wave or something to acknowledge that she almost hit me and scared the bettlejuice out of me because MY KIDS WERE IN THE CAR. And because she did nothing, I did something. I got out of my car (I know it was wrong, you don't have to remind me though I know you will) and went to her. She was alone and her window was down but she wouldn't look at me. The other cars around us all began rolling down their windows to see what this insane woman was yelling. The insane woman was me. I was yelling loud, no doubt the Queens, Nu Yawk, accent coming out that you only hear when I'm yelling this intensely, telling her that "I have kids in the car!" as my arms waved frantically pointing back at my car behind hers, driver's side door open, kids in the back no doubt wondering where their crazy mother had gone. "YOU NEED TO PAY ATTENTION!! YOU NEED TO BE MORE CAREFUL!!"

Okay, crazy lady, she probably thought. I don't blame her. I was her. I was once a not so careful driver who probably once worried more about what music I was listening to as I sped around town over making sure I didn't crash into anything. I was a young person once with no real fear of terrible consequences. But that person is long gone. I am a mother now and part of my existence is to protect my kids from harm. This girl was the "enemy", putting their lives in danger and the full roar of my mama bear was out, claws and all, right there in the intersection with an audience.

I scared her. She muttered she was sorry, barely looking directly at me. It was only a few seconds of berating. I marched back to my car and as I mentioned, my son asked "Mommy why did you yell at that lady?" Putting on a calm voice, I told him she wasn't a very good driver and she almost hit our car and I got worried we would get hurt. I may have scared her for that moment, but I was scared. Motherhood is terrifying -- you have your heart existing outside your body and you have to protect it.

"We're not hurt, Mommy," my daughter reminded me.

And we weren't. But I was. I was hurt and wounded and going through a whole lot. It was one of those moments that if it happened in a happier time perhaps I wouldn't have reacted so strongly. But no one should ever get in the way of a mother going through some stuff and feeling as if the safety of her kids was in danger. The adrenaline started taking over and I began shaking and crying. The light turned green and I pulled into the grocery store parking lot to calm down. We're not hurt, Mommy rang in my head. We were okay. We will be okay. 

To the pretty blonde girl in the little white car: I am sorry, too.

Have you ever experienced something like this where something or someone nearly hurt your kids (accidentally) and you flew into a rage?

Image via Cameron Parkins/Flickr

a mom's life, safety


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Senia... Seniahmom

That young lady will think twice before she pulls out into traffic. Sometimes people need a combing down.

Heath... Heathp721

Depending on who you were walking up to you could've gotten yourself beat up or worse for approaching another person like that. What would've happened to your kids then? You never know what kind of person you are approaching. Definitely could have made a bad situation worse. Yes, she should've been watching out better but definitely not worth risking your safety and your children's safety to tell her what she probably already knows.

abra819 abra819

Good for you, I would have and have done the same thing!

nonmember avatar Suni

I don't think some of you are getting the point of the article. The author went into a mama bear rage at a young woman who made a mistake and in turn made a mistake herself. She regrets blowing up at this girl. She regrets screaming at a girl in front of her kids. She realizes that this young girl could easily have been her years back. This is an article about regret, not promoting mama bear tendencies.

BeccaLS BeccaLS

Sorry, but you should not have gotten out of the car.

Not because you were wrong, you weren't. But you put yourself in danger by doing that, and your kids, who you left unattended. I understand the reaction, I get that you weren't thinking about anything but the fact that your kids safety was put in danger, but you really should have stopped and thought about what you were doing.

Andrea Byrd Plate

I've never lost it over a near-crash.  That being said, when my daughter was a little over a year old and had just made the switch from an infant seat to a convertible, rear-facing seat we got rear ended at a red light.  It wasn't high speed at all, but I jumped out of the car in near hysterics to comfort my kiddo, who was scared and wailing.  The sixteen  year old who hit us was white as a ghost and very appologetic-turns out he had been texting and hadn't seen the red light or my stopped car.  Thankfully everyone was fine, there were just small scratches on both vehicles, and I like to think it was a teaching moment for him to never text and drive again.

MamaT... MamaTo2b2g

I hate the stupid "mama bear" excuse for acting like an idiot.

Jayde Bachman

I understand being upset and she should have acknowledged her mistake but how do you know SHE wasn't going through some personal stuff too? Had you almost hit someone I'm sure there would have been an excuse of you being stressed or something but of course this young girl is just an idiot, right? Sorry but you made yourself look and sound like a fool. I'm sure you'll be the embarrasing mom when your kids start school.

stace... stacey541

I don't get the point of yelling at someone for that....it was obviously not something the girl intended on doing....

Dolce... Dolcepsle

The title of the article is stupid. Who the hell knows who is in a car they nearly miss hitting. Rename the article and maybe people will understand it wasn't just about bad driving.

The mom didn't care about her kids safety if she left them in a running car at a stoplight so she could get out and bitch out a teen. Mom was in the wrong here. You have to drive as though all other drivers are shit. Defensive driving is the only way to drive. If you get bent out of shape over all the bad drivers in the world then you are going to end up on meds!

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