Maci Bookout’s Tweet About Spanking Is a Cry for Help

Mom Moment 115

being maciSometimes a bad-ass fronting tweet is actually a cry for help. Teen Mom Maci Bookout tweeted, "im gonna catch a bunchaaa shit for spanking bentley.... #parenting." Huh, feeling a wee bit defensive, are we? Unless Maci is talking about something caught on camera and airing on Being Maci, I'm not sure why she even needs to tell us she spanked Bentley. Otherwise, we would never know -- and she could make her parenting decisions with confidence in privacy.

But that's now what's happening, and I can't help wondering if this is more about Maci knowing, at some level, that there is something about spanking that actually makes her a weak parent. Who needs other people to give you shit when you've got your own inner voice giving you shit, really? But she's frustrated, because she doesn't want to raise a spoiled child, either. Well fortunately for Maci and every other parent who's ever felt defensive about spanking, there are alternatives.

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1. Time-out. We all know about this one, and many parents swear by it. But it also takes some planning. You have to decide you're going to try it, and you have to think about how you'll do it before you need it. Also, sometimes parents need a time-out themselves.

2. Time-in. It sounds counter-intuitive, but many parents love this technique. When your child is acting out, you take a moment to pull your child closer to you and spend some quiet time together.

3. Get scary quiet. This doesn't work on every kid, but it worked on mine. Instead of yelling, get up really close to your child, put on a very serious face, and tell them to stop what they're doing in a quiet, calm, but I'm-not-effing-around tone of voice. Make it brief. Make eye contact the whole time, including a second or two after you finish talking.

4. Clap-growl. Child specialist Harvey Karp created this technique. “When you see your young child doing something that you don't like -- like she's just bitten her brother -- rather than spanking them, you give a good sharp clap, which gets their attention, and then with a serious look on your face, you admonish them. ‘No bite!’ with that index finger extended. And then, do what's called a double take; you look away from them for a second, and then you look back at them just a few seconds later with that stern look again and say, 'No bite.'"

It's all about finding what works for your child -- every kid is different, after all. But if you're spanking, and you find yourself feeling a little defensive about it, this may be your own inner voice trying to tell you something. Listen to that feeling and consider the alternatives. And don't worry, this is just between us -- we won't tell anyone you're having second thoughts about spanking!

Do you ever feel bad about spanking?


Image via MTV

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jalaz77 jalaz77

Nope! It's a rare RARE thing but when my son kept running out in the middle of the street he got a swat on the butt and he has not ran in the street since. We worked so hard with him so he wouldn't run in the street, he got several time outs on the step watching all the other kids play, he got sent in the house, fav toys taken away...then a smack across the butt did the trick. I do feel its usually parents that have had gotten so mad that's why kids get spanked but there have been a couple occasions where repeated teachings have not worked, positive reinforcement, time outs, toys taken, whatever it may be, has not worked. Really T.O. are for parents so you don't smack the kid cause they do not work. So your crappy opinionated article is just that, may work for you but not everyone else. It's one thing if you use spanking several times a day but I see nothing wrong.

nonmember avatar Christie

First off, why would you write an article that you didn't take the time to do some research on.
" Unless Maci is talking about something caught on camera and airing on Being Maci" Uh, yes, that exactly what that tweet was referring to. She knew the level of nasty tweets she was going to get when that part of the show aired and she tweeted that.

lulou lulou

I see her doing 2 things by this, using her kid to get ratings, and secondly like a person saying they look fat, who's really not, and fishing for compliments.  Needing validation - so I suppose that matches the authors point.

nonmember avatar Camom

I can't. I can't with this whole article and the person writing it! I. Just. Can't. I'm just going to read the comments and wait for someone with some sense that I can yell at my phone excitedly that I agree with.

nonmember avatar J

Geez, sometimes your kid NEEDS a swift swat. Not out of anger, but in a safe and teaching environment. That's what's wrong with all these teens running around, disrespecting adults, feeling entitled to everything. They were handeled with such kid gloves that they learned they could do whatever they wanted, manipulate however they want and there are no consequences. Sometimes a spanking is neccassary. Generations of responsible, non-abused adults have been raised on spankings. If a parent feels it's necassary, that's there right. So maybe lay off the judgy.

nonmember avatar Sam

An idiot wrote this blog. JMO

ds79 ds79

Clap growl? Really? What kind of wussy children are you trying to raise? Kids these days have no respect and this is exactly why. There really is a proper way to spank and spanking out of anger is never ok but I can totally see it now "oh man I'm gonna tell mom and you're gonna get clap growled"! Good luck with that. So ridiculous:)

danie... danielleapril

thank god shes parenting her child. and seriously "clapgrowl" almoat made me wet myself.

nonmember avatar Erin

agree with J, parents now days are so afraid to discipline their children. Yet some of these children Are oN tv pregnant at 13 and in gangs....a good old fashioned trip to the woodshed never killed anyone. Good FOR Macy.

Bryce... Brycesmommy21

I'm sorry but your "alternive's" are a joke. Sorry time out in my house is a damn joke with my kid, so that doesn't work..... "Time in" sorry but I do that on a regular basis so he would never know the difference. I think spankying is "To which is their own" I am most certianlly not against it. I got spanked when I ws a kid and I'm fine. I think why Maci had posted that is because their are people out there who think they are entitled to anothers parenting. There are some people who completely frown upon it and feel they need to correct the other parenting. I'm sorry but I don't go around to a parent who let's their kid suck on a pacifier at 3 yrs old, even though that it just ridiculous. People feel compelled to speak up so I really think Maci was just saying she already know's the back lash. Maci's parents probably spanked her too, and look how she turned out. I will say though Farrah and Jenelle's mom probably never spanked them and they could have used a good ass whooping!!

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