13 Secrets Our Kids Have Spilled That Would Make Any Mom Cringe

Say What!? 71

someecards.com - Be careful what you tell your kids -- It will get repeated. I was just writing a piece on things our parents do that embarrass us even though we're grown up, when it dawned on me that my kids do things that embarrass me even more. My children have blurted out some very personal secrets to teachers, doctors, the person who gives you shoes at the bowling alley, and I'm sure unbeknownst to me -- to other people's parents as well.

The first time I recall being outed by one of my children was when my son was about 3. While in the checkout line at the grocery store, he looked at cashier and nonchalantly said, "My mommy walks around naked." As if it made perfect sense in the context of buying juice boxes.

I've also been privy to other people's juicy secrets, unsolicited mind you. (It's not like I drill little children that innocently come over to play or hook them to lie detectors while we enjoy cookies and then I ask if their mom has had any work done.)

Here are some of those secrets (and the reason we shouldn't let them leave the house) ...

1. Said to me at the window of a drive-thru: "My mom doesn't let me eat fast food, she says people who eat it are slobs."

2. Said while out to dinner with friends and their kids: "My dad only has one testicle."

3. As I handed my daughter's nursery school teacher our report about our weekend with the class's Clifford the Big Red Dog stuffed animal: "My mom made the whole thing up, Clifford was in our trunk all weekend."

4. Overheard while watching the kids swim: "My parents are getting a divorce because my dad has a boyfriend."

5. Said to the cable guy who was calling to say he would be at my house within the hour: "My Mom can't come to the phone right now, she's making a poop."

6. Said to my 11-year-old son at a sleepover: "I'm not supposed to tell anyone, but my dad let me see Hot Tub Time Machine."

7. A friend's son explained, "My mom needed to have more sex to make my younger brother. My dad has slow swimming sperm."

8. A friend told me that my child said this while swimming at her house: "My mom says it's OK to pee in the pool if you REALLY have to go bad."

More from The Stir: 25 Things All Moms Say to Their Kids Sooner or Later

9. Said to my entire family at a playdate: "My mom has a penis." I'm guessing this one wasn't true, but the little boy certainly thought so.

10. Said to a friend's mother-in-law: "Mommy was all sweaty after the gym ... like she is when she wrestles Daddy in the morning."

11. One of my daughter's friends told me this on their first play date: "My mom had this laser done to her face and it made her dark spots look sooo gross. She was really getting it done to remove hair but she told me not to tell anyone that. She said I should say it was for a mole."

12. Said to my daughter during a game of house: "You be the baby, like the one my mommy has in her belly ... oops."

13. Confessed to me by my daughter: "I told Lily we couldn't have sleepovers anymore because you said she's annoying."

Yep, these are the types of things my sweet little imps (and yours) have volunteered during carpools, sleepovers, and playdates. Be careful what you tell them and who you let them talk to.

What confidential tidbits have you heard ... or have your offspring shared about you?


confessions, discipline, quotes, sex & dating, your kid asked what, comedy, mommy bloggers

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Jespren Jespren

"Kids Say the Darndest Things" Ark Linkerman (linkmen, linkletter? Why can't I remember).

Trina_ Trina_

I never experienced this considering my biological daughter, Marmalade, was adopted after I gave birth to her, but we reconciled and I found her and adopted her myself at 17. By then she was pretty much independent.

socal... socalmommy13

Been there! Super embarrassing... Makes me rethink somethingsi do say lol

Elizabeth L. Smith

My grandaughter at age 3...." tampons are for your vagina, are you having your period? some people use pads, do you? to her other grandmother's neighbor.... lol

TJand... TJandKarasMom

My dd told her friend she couldn't play with her because I said she was not lady like. Not sure when I said it, but I'm sure the context was more like "mom, Maddy farts a lot and doesn't say excuse me" and I said "we'll that's not very lady like." But still, her mom called me....

There have been plenty more embarrassing things between my two, and all their friends telling me stuff...and I worked in kindergarten, those kids give out all kinds of juicy details ;) lol

Tarot Tarot

My son at age 2 walking past the bra section in Target "MOMMA'S BOOBIES!" over and over again as loud as possible.

Karen Green Taverner

my mommy said that you're about as interesting as a box of rocks :(

Dawn Mangham

my brother was playing on the floor of the medicaid office during my mothers appointment when he overheard the case worker say "work,work, work, thats all i ever do -he piped up and said yeah and you eat alot too thats why your so big and fat -my moms face turned 3 shades of red as she appoligized+the first time i intruduced my son to a black woman she put out her hand to shake his and he pulled away saying but its dirty-oh my god i was so embarrassed i know it was an innocent mistake so that evening we had a long conversation about people being all different colors just like people have different eye colors and hair colors.


 

Steph... StephMosDef

My dd when she was 6 or 7 told the cashier at the grocery store that I use drugs. I smoke cigarettes. She had just gone through a health lesson at school. I was embarrassed to say the least.

Tatte... TattedReader

My daughters only babysitter outside of family is a half black/half white girl. The first time she came over to meet my daughters, my oldest (3) said "Mommy why is she chocolate?" ugh thank God the girl has a sense of humor..

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