I don't usually go in for parenting trends, but I think I've finally found one I can get behind. It's called CTFD, or Calm the F*ck Down -- and the idea is it's the parents who need to calm the f*ck down, not the kids. Actually, it may be a little premature to call it a trend. CTFD is a parenting technique introduced this week by dad blogger David Vienna. And the premise could not be simpler: "Using CTFD assures you that -- whichever way you choose to parent -- your child will be fine (as long as you don't abuse them, of course)." Let there be dancing in the streets.
Vienna gives a few examples of how you can incorporate CTFD in your everyday family life.
Worried your friend's child has mastered the alphabet quicker than your child? Calm the f*ck down.
Scared you're not imparting the wisdom your child will need to survive in school and beyond? Calm the f*ck down.
Concerned that you're not the type of parent you thought you'd be? Calm the f*ck down.
I think you get the idea. No matter what you do, as long as you're not being abusive (hey, that caveat is important), your child will still love you and turn out more or less all right. My only question now is, where can I get the t-shirt?
I know. Calm the f*ck down and make your own.
I wish someone had suggested this parenting technique years ago when I first became a mother, because I really could have used it. But I had wine, so it's all right. (I'm kidding -- I do not parent with alcohol! Calm the f*ck down.)
CTFD can be used in conjunction with just about any other parenting style as long as you remember to chill out about it. It's kind of like Buddhism that way. You can still breastfeed in public or send your 3-year-old to piano lessons if you want to.
Oh parents. I know. Raising children is stressful, it's a lot of work, it's thankless work, it's confusing, and you're surrounded by people judging you. All the more reason to use the CTFD technique. Please spread the word to all your friends. Use Facebook and Pinterest. It's imperative that we all jump on this parenting trend immediately. CTFD is what we're all doing now, so get with it. I mean, no pressure or anything, but if you don't CTFD, I will judge you, and you will feel bad about your parenting, and -- oh, haha! There I go again. CTFD, CTFD, CTFD. This is going to take me some practice.
What do you think about CTFD?