It's Annoying When Your Kid Looks Nothing Like You

Rant 65

michele zipp sonIt's annoying when someone thinks you are the babysitter and not the mother. Sure there's that stigma attached that the babysitter is probably younger than mom and hotter and all that and while it's nice to be thought of as attractive it's also a dis to mothers essentially saying that moms can't be hot. We can. We are. But what's most annoying is when people just don't think you are the mother because your kid looks nothing like you

That child just couldn't have come from you! Oh really? I only carried that child in my womb for 8 months and then gave birth to him by emergency c-section due to severe preeclampsia complications that nearly cost me my life. I'd say that child most definitely came from me.

But the blonde hair and your hair is so dark! Why yes, ma'am. Clearly I used the sperm of Casper the Friendly Ghost.

Is it because people are at a loss for what to say that when they see a mom and child who don't look like carbon copies of each other that their mouths just start moving and the words that come out are ridiculous and borderline insulting? I'm not saying I'm above some slippage of verbal diarrhea. We've all trudged that awful path. But what ends up happening is there is one comment on it, followed by another, and a sentence, and then an entire dialog about how your child looks nothing like you. All the while the mom hearing this feels smaller and smaller and smaller.

I mean, what if I had sex with Casper the Ghost and I just don't want to talk about it? He was friendly! What if hearing you say my child couldn't be my own is hurtful because it makes me feel like you are questioning my motherhood? I have the scar to prove it! There are always exceptions here. What about moms who adopt? What if they don't want to explain the details of their journey to motherhood to strangers?

Women with dark brown eyes and brown hair can have babies with light blue eyes and blonde hair. I know this because I did this. Maybe it was some magical feat in the eyes of some -- and in many ways it was because motherhood is magical! -- but I didn't gobble up some curious "to have blonde baby, take this" pill. I did get lucky though. I had twins. My daughter looks just like me. My son, not so much. But it doesn't make him any less mine. Blonde, blue-eyed, and mine!

Does it annoy you when people comment on how your child looks nothing like you?


Image via Michele Zipp

a mom's life


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nonmember avatar Shannon

I have b/g twins too! Neither looks like me. They both have their Dad's blue eyes. My DD looks like my mom and DS is a "throwback"... he looks like his paternal great-grandmother!

onefo... onefootcutiepie

I thikn that you may possibly be overreacting.

stace... stacey541

My two both have super blone hair and pale skin and I have dark brown hair with tanner skin. They are clones of their daddy. I however, have never had a single person say a thing about them not looking like must live around rude people.

NatAndCo NatAndCo

I have the same problem. Dark hair, dark eyes, but my twin 18mo boys have strawberry blonde hair and grey eyes. What kills me is when they say they look like their older brother (from a different mother). Yes I know they have the same father (light brown hair, blue eyes) but the kid looks ALOT like his mom and it drives me insane.

OoOJa... OoOJanisOoO

I have blond hair blue eyes and really pale skin. My husband is Colombian with dark hair darker skin and brown eyes.  My daughter has dark brown hair and brown eyes she looks just like her Dad and nothing like me. One time I was out with a friend and someone though she was her mom and not me but we just laughed it off.  

I can tell you it is MUCH worse when your kids don't look like their Dad! We also have 2 sons and they have blond hair big blue eyes and really pale skin just like me.  People are constantly saying how much they look like me and how they don't look anything like their dad. I mean what are they trying to say lol!  

youth... youthfulsoul

All four of my kids have blonde hair and their skin tone only matches each other. Not mom or dads coloring, and certainly not our brown hair. I've had the milkman comments for the last 19 years.

nonmember avatar jessi

My son is literally a mini me, which is fortunate not becuase I think I look great bc his father(more like sperm donor lol) is scum of the earth. I am blessed with this because I don't really have to answer questions about his dad then. I could definitely understand how that would be really hurtful though. Some people are just rude and don't even realize it, I guess.

laris... larissalarie

If someone saying your kid didn't look like you evokes all that, you've got some deeper insecurities.

nonmember avatar Mommy

My son has blonde hair and blue eyes very pale, I have green eyes brown hair pale and my husband is Mexican with black hair and light hazel eyes he's very pale too. I'm 23 but look about 17 without makeup, I get the babysitter thing everyday...when my husband has him ppl look at them like he kidnapped him. I HATE it

mande... manderspanders

I look nothing like my mother.  Except as I age, some of her features are beginning to come through. I told her myself that since she had taken zero pictures when pregnant with me that she wasn't my mom (this was in the early 80s).

She is 5'4", petite, small bone structure.  I'm 6ft tall, amazonian, large bone structure. I looked EXACTLY like my dad as a baby/toddler. 

But I don't think anyone else EVER told my mom she didn't look like she could be my mom.  That would just be rude.

I did take pregnant pictures for my son though... just in case he doesn't look like me, I can "prove" I carried him LOL

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