Hold on to your flippers, Tinker Tea may be coming to a store near you soon. If you've never heard of it, then you're probably not a fan (or someone who watches out of sheer horror) of Toddlers & Tiaras where this ghastly energy drink for children got its start.
Yes, an energy drink for toddlers who never sit still for a second anyway. It's the creation of Tori Hensley, mom of 2-year-old pageant princess, Alexa, and the ingredients are enough to make your teeth ache and your heart race at the thought of what such a concoction would do to your average child.
It's made up of Mountain Dew, sweet tea, and the kicker -- Pixie Stix. So it's caffeine, sugar, and more sugar. Tori told Radar Online that she came up with it to keep her daughter energetic for pageants.
We tried everything else to pep her up and it wasn’t working. So we came up with the mix.
Apparently getting her more sleep and spending less time on pageants didn't occur to her. As bad as it is that she's doing this to her own child, it gets even worse, because she's now in the process of marketing the drink to the masses so that other parents across the country can hop their children up on this crap. According to the site, she's in negotiations right now.
It's so bad it should almost be illegal. Of course, parents don't have to buy it, but just putting it on the shelves is unconscionable. Tori, of course, touts its benefits:
We’re gonna gear it for pageant kids and dance. And for hyperactive children, to help them. A lot of studies show that caffeine reverses the effects of hyperactive children. Instead of medications and pills and nasty chemicals, why not give them caffeine?
There are studies that say this indeed, but they do not say that massive amounts of sugar alongside it help (in fact, there are studies that show the opposite), and people should be talking to the doctor, not picking up a can of this crap in the grocery store and giving it to an already hyper child. Not to mention the fact that the American Academy of Pediatrics has said energy drinks pose health risks to kids.
I don't completely ban my children from junk food by any means and feel like occasional treats are just fine, but this isn't a treat. This is a can of cavities, diabetes, and obesity with a side of hyperactivity. There's really no justification for this junk.
Can you believe this stuff may land on store shelves? Would you ever let your kids drink it?
Image via TLC