As a mom who spent a period of 6 months desperately trying (in vain) to convince my then 2-year-old daughter to wear something, anything, besides a particular flowered dress with little bows on the shoulders ("The Bow Dress," we called it), I find the concept of kiddie couture pretty much ridiculously funny. I'm not sure when it happened, exactly, but at some point over the past 10 years or so, "fashionista toddlers" turned into ... a thing. Why? I'm pretty sure Suri Cruise and the Jolie-Pitts helped to inspire the trend -- not to mention a slew of other celeb kids roaming the playgrounds in couture -- and Pinterest has only added to the haute hysteria. Except maybe not anymore, thanks to "My Imaginary Well-Dressed Toddler Daughter," a deliciously ironic collection of hipster tot photos devoted to a fantasy child named "Quinoa" with devastatingly witty captions.
The above image, for example, was accompanied by the following text:
"Quinoa refers to these as ear 'musts'!"
Indeed! And that's not all this hypothetical child has to say. A few of my personal favorite captions include:
"Quinoa farts glitter."
"Quinoa love to have special mother-daughter talks in spectacular clothes and illuminating lighting."
"Yankee Doodle stuck a feather in his cap and called it Macaroni. When Quinoa did the same thing, Vogue called HER."
Honestly, I would find this stuff amusing even if I didn't have kids, but because I'm all too familiar with the reality of dressing a highly irrational dirt magnet on a day to day basis, it's enough to make me bust a gut. Not only that, the insanely gorgeous photos provide a fairy tale escape from Old Navy t-shirts with chocolate milk stains and dresses with little bows on the shoulders.
Did 'My Imaginary Well-Dressed Toddler Daughter' Make You Laugh?
Image via Etsy