2-Year-Old Started Drinking Coffee at 9 Months To Compete in Pageants

OMG 47

coffee mugsOh Toddlers and Tiaras, you're always good for some judgy parental shockers. In the first episode of the new season we meet two-tear-old Alexa, the coffee-drinking pageant girl. She's been chugging the black stuff since she was nine months old -- and she doesn't even add milk, which would sort of redeem her coffee habit. But don't worry, her doctors are totally okay with it! I would like to meet these doctors because that's bananas.

Supposedly caffeine isn't the worst thing in the world for kids -- but it's not great for them, either. What in Sam hell would put it into your head to feed a NINE MONTH OLD BABY coffee, anyway? Did Alexa's mom look at her daughter one morning and think, "Huh, kid looks a little lethargic this morning. Better fuel her up with some coffee for her important job of being a baby." Was she constipated? Is that how this started? I just... I don't get it. But that's not even the worst thing Alexa drinks.

I'm even more worried about what they call "Tinker tea," an inadvisable ADD-inducing brew of soda, sweet tea, and I kid you not, pixie sticks. Because any one of those three things is not sweet enough on their own. Tinker tea takes Honey Boo Boo's go-go juice, slaps it around some, and flings it out of the ring like a WWE wrestler.

I think the idea is that it gives Alexa extra energy -- or something like that? But the latest research (I say, puting my stern science lady glasses on now as I write this) doesn't support this idea. Instead, sugar makes you crash, which is why we see Alexas lolling on the floor at some point, much to her pusher mom's disappointment.

But hey, Alexa wins the pageant so it's all good. Right??? Tinker tea for everyone. I think I'll go make my kid a glass right now.

Which is worse for kids, coffee or sugary drinks?


Image via Mike Sheard/Flickr

nutrition, toddler health


To add a comment, please log in with

Use Your CafeMom Profile

Join CafeMom or Log in to your CafeMom account. CafeMom members can keep track of their comments.

Join CafeMom or Log in to your CafeMom account. CafeMom members can keep track of their comments.

Comment As a Guest

Guest comments are moderated and will not appear immediately.

craft... craftycatVT

I saw a clip of this on The Soup. The mom was pouring a jumbo pixie stick down the kid's throat, too.

cmjaz cmjaz

Good God

cmjaz cmjaz

Good God!that is insane!

2baby... 2babymomma

I watched it last night.that mom was nuts. I don't even let my 6 year old take a sip if my coffee let alone a whole glass and seriously soda and tea mixed together sounds so nasty

romab... romab1126

Stupid parent. My God, the world is full of stupid people.

schlis schlis

That makes me nauseous. I barely let my 20 month old drink juice b/c of the sugar content. I can't imagine what must be going through these mothers heads. Totally judging.

nonmember avatar Rae

you asked "Which is worse for kids, coffee or sugary drinks?" How about pageants? If this is what is "standard" to get a kid ready - not to mention the hours of hair & makeup and over frilly dress concoctions for pageants, why don't we just ditch the concept that children should be dressing up and being this crazy when they should be running in the backyard chasing fireflies or seeing who can go down the slide the fastest or even just the basics of knowing how to interact with other children?

nonmember avatar April

That's horrible. I can't even imagine doing that to my kids. I have let my kids drink a concoction called "coffee milk". It is a cofee mug with MAYBE a half inch of coffee in the bottom. The rest is milk. We started doing that every now and again when the kids were about 7 and 5. They felt very grown up, like they were drinking an adult beverege. In reality, they were drinking milk with a hint of coffee, not even enough to really discolor the milk. I can handle that. I could not handle giving my kids enough sugar to send an elephant on a sugar high rampage

D.O.E. D.O.E.

my two year old has been drinking coffee since he started stealing my mug around the same age as this kid, he's not hyper....he just likes a cuppa joe in the morning.

he takes his double double, i even buy him his own can of decaf

1-10 of 47 comments 12345 Last