We all have days when being a mom is the most amazing and rewarding experience ever. With cherries on top and dancing bears that fart rainbows scented like cotton candy. Then there are days where we can't wait until it's bedtime so we can have a HUGE GLASS OF WINE. And then another. It's those challenging days that I want to personally pull the fingernails off of certain people because they help take my kids from level 5 annoying to level 11 out of 10.
Go on and say it's my fault because I'm an awful mom. I'm going to sip my wine and blame others. Here are the five worst people to run into when you are with your kids ... particularly on those challenging days.
- The balloon man. Kids love balloons. Cranky kids love ballons. Cranky kids get balloons and are not cranky for five minutes and then balloon pops and not cranky kids become the CRANKIEST KIDS EVER.
- People with bubbles. My kids have a bubble problem. Perhaps it's because I deprive them of bubbles and so when they see bubbles they freak out. Bubbles make them seem like they are on a 387 pound sugar high. Blow bubbles! More bubbles! Give me bubbles! Pop bubbles! More! Again! Let me do it. Spill all over. I want more bubbles!
- Anyone who uses the word ice cream too freely. Consider this a public service announcement. If you are talking to a child who cannot spell yet, please only spell out the word "ice cream." Never say the word ice cream. Because if those two words are mumbled before dinner everything is ruined.
- People with dogs. I love dogs. My kids love dogs. This has nothing to do with dogs. I'm not anti-dog. I am anti running into anyone with a dog who either A. has an un-pettable pup that my kids really want to pet but can't and therefore they spend the next 5 hours talking about how they really wanted to pet that mean dog with foam coming out of his mouth or B. never want to leave the area where the sweet dog is.
- The sick friend who insists on kissing your kids. I'm not scared of germs. I'm fine with being around sick kids. I'm not a lollipop party kind of mom though. And so that also means if you are sick, don't plant a wet one on my kid's face.
Can you relate? Are there any others to add?
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