18 Things Never to Say to Adoptive Parents

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babyThey don't mean to be, but some friends and family can be very insensitive about the subject of adoption. I now have several friends who have chosen to start or expand their family this way and they often find themselves rolling their eyes at what people say. It's as though they feel the right to ask anything that comes to mind when they learn you have an adopted child. The most common questions: "What happened to his real parents?" As if you aren't the real parents. Or: "Where is he from?" Like every adopted baby must be from some exotic, Angelina Jolie-approved locale. But some comments and queries are even more rude and ridiculous. Check out the 18 things you should never say to parents who have adopted.

  1. Does it bother you he won't ever look like you?
  2. Be honest, do you love your biological kids more?
  3. Why did they give her up? Is she sick?
  4. Did you ever think about giving him back if something's wrong?
  5. Wow, guess this is your good deed for the year!
  6. Don't you want children of your own?
  7. He's probably going to have abandonment issues.
  8. What if the parents come back for him?
  9. What is he?
  10. Why didn't you get a kid from America?
  11. Did you ever think about getting a black market baby instead of dealing with all this red tape?
  12. Did you adopt because you can't have any?
  13. When are you going to tell her she's adopted?
  14. Do your other kids know she's not the same?
  15. She is so lucky you took her in!
  16. Aren't you worried his parents passed on some illness or something?
  17. This is so great of you. You know, we thought about taking one of those poor children home during our vacay to the islands.
  18. Hey, you are pulling an Angelina!

More from The Stir: 23 Things Never to Say to a Pregnant Woman

What are rude things have people said to parents who've adopted?

 

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