Toddler

Potty training is a very strange thing for most parents. We are just getting used to caring for a person who doesn't know how to avoid pooping in their pants when all of a sudden, we are solely responsible for teaching them to go in a toilet. And it's a competition.

Oh yes, did you not realize that? If you have a 3-year-old who isn't potty trained, get ready for the judgment, the stares, and the rudeness. It's enough to make any parent crazy.

So it's no wonder that we DO go a little nuts. And even once your little darling is potty trained, it isn't all smooth sailing from there. Oh no. You still have years to go before you can believe with 100 percent certainty that your little one won't have an "accident." And then there's college. The whole process can be pretty absurd and you can find yourself saying things you NEVER thought you would utter. I asked around and got 11 things said in potty training that would sound simply insane anywhere else. Here they are:

1.) "Regardless of how much fun you're having, you have to get up if you need to go to the bathroom."

2.) "No you cannot bring your dinner water and toys into the bathroom with you."

3.) "Since we are going on a Disney cruise and swimmy diapers are not allowed in the main pool (only the baby pool), I have been really ramping it up. Lately, she has been getting it so the other day I said, 'Yay, you won't poop in the pool and Goofy won't get mad at you!'"

4.) "You don't need toilet paper once you are finished. Please leave the roll alone. Oh wait, if you did that, then you do need toilet paper."

5.) "The dog cannot help you at all in here."

6.) "Lean forward and aim down!" (Yes, more than one direct hit to the face.)

7.) "See Daddy's pooping on the potty, and honey, show him it when you are done!"

8.) "No, your pee doesn't go down to the Tooth Fairy."

9.) "Please don't eat that." *Speaking to my daughter with a turd in her hand raising to her mouth.

10.) "Please stop trying to pick up the 80-pound dog. She doesn't need to sit on the potty."

11.) "That's okay honey, sometimes daddy doesn't make it in time either."

Have you said any of these to your child?

Image via www.homejobsbymom.com/Flickr