Taking Toddlers to Restaurants: Do You Dare?
Photo by Manda5463
Dining out should be fun and relaxing, but with unpredictable toddlers it often leads to indigestion. My husband and I will attempt the diner or pizza joint with our 5 year old and 3 year old once in a while. But any place that has an order-to-serve window longer than about 7 minutes, forget it. The night would just end up as it usually does, with me inhaling my lemon sole as my husband fights to restrain my daughter, who just wants to do laps around all the tables.
And then you have other restaurant horror stories like the one from one mom in the Stay at Home Moms group (membership required).
She and her husband took their 2 and 3 year olds to a steak house the other night. Her 2 year old started to cry. She took her to the bathroom and calmed her down, but she continued to fuss back at the table.
"A guy came over to my husband and told him to get my crying little brat out of here. He said he didn't come here to listen to that and we needed to leave. Then he got a manager and said he wanted a refund because that brat was crying the whole time, and the restaurant shouldn't allow that to happen."
The manager offered the mom a gift card to return, but she refused and apologized. "But we will return if we choose to because it is a public place. My 2 year old just had a meltdown. She's two!"
Oh, boy, have I been there. Just so awkward. But Toddler Moms can't avoid restaurants forever. How will our toddlers learn to behave in restaurants if we never take them!
I decided to bring MrsManners in on the conversation. She's owner of the Manners for the Modern Family group and also runs a website called MannersMadeFun.com.
So, what are the basic rules of toddler etiquette at restaurants?
Never let your child run around unattended, period. Setting the dangerous aspects of it aside, having your child walk up to another table is just over the top. While other diners have chosen to enter the family-friendly zone, if they wanted a child at the table with them, they probably would have brought their own.
Parents shouldn't let their children run wild, but a little bit of noise should be expected. If a person enters an obviously family friendly restaurant, they should know that they are going to get the occasional child staring at them over the back of a booth and some crying. It goes with the territory. Fine dining (where you wouldn't be caught dead in jeans, cargo pants or khakis) is the exception to the rule.
When should we remove our misbehaving or noisy tykes from the table -- oreven leave the restaurant?
As a rule of thumb, if you are uncomfortable, so is everyone else. Remove yourself as quickly as possible. Politely grab your server's attention and ask if they could help you by either getting your food to go or wrapping it up for you. If the situation is really that bad, they will be more than happy to help you in any way possible because you were kind enough to respond to the situation.
Is there any way to get your toddler to "practice" being good in a restaurant?
With older toddlers, try making a game out of it at home. Pretend you are going out and have them act the way you want them to. Then take them to a fast-food restaurant to practice their "skills" in a real-world scenario. When you think they're ready, give a sit-down, family friendly restaurant a go.
Just remember that toddlers are inherently unpredictable. You can practice all you want and it could still end up with a to-go box, or it can go perfectly and you'll find yourself enjoying a second cup of coffee after dinner. If they are already in a bad mood, don't try taking them to a restaurant.
Any other ways to bring out the Emily Post in our little ones?
Try working on volume control -- a great resource is the board book Quiet Loud by Leslie Patricelli. While you read it, change the volume of your voice to reflect the appropriate volume. Then identify one as an indoor voice and one as an outdoor voice. Be consistent with these at all times, and that way if your child starts to get too loud in a restaurant, they will know what you mean when you ask them to use your indoor voice. The key to the whole situation is never letting it get to a point where someone would WANT to complain.
What's the absolute worst experience you've ever had with your toddlers in a restaurant?
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mommyonhawaii
My oldest is 21 months now, when he was 9 months we went to Outback and he threw a huge fit. He was grabbing at everything and would scream when we took it away, would throw aside any toy that was given to him. Finally he grabbed a full dish of mushrooms and sent them flying to the floor, the dish broke. He finally fell asleep in my arms on my 5 month twin pregnant belly. DH took my word after that when I told him it was too late to go out at 7:30 as DS was used to going to bed at that time.
CrazyMom5480
We don't have any restaurants around where I live that people don't expect at least one family to be there during their dining experience. Besides that, we have been lucky enough that neither of our children have ever acted up more than maybe getting a little too loud at the table. The most embarrassing thing I've ever had to deal with while eating was when we were out of town.
I was eating breakfast alone with my children in the dining room of the hotel we were staying at. (It was a Hilton, so you know about how family oriented it is.) My 3 year old son whispered to me that he had farted. I told him that was okay and to just eat his breakfast. That wasn't the reaction he wanted, so he said it at a normal speaking voice. I told him that is not something we talk about at the table and to just drop it. He had to try one more time, so he shouted, "I farted!" We were surrounded by people who were having breakfast in their business suits, so I could just feel how red my face got. When I dared to look around I could see people trying to hide their faces and laughter. At least they got a good laugh to start their busy days with.
psychessun
i take my kids, 3 and almost 2, everywhere i go. they're usually very good, but they have their moments.
i want them to learn how to behave, and the only way to do that is by taking them places.
AnitaVersion2.0
I've never had a bad restaurant experience with either of my kids.
mum2gr8byz
We have only had one negative restaurant experience with our kids. We went out to the Olive Garden and the boys were doing a GREAT job of coloring while they sipped milk and nibbled breadsticks. However, their patience wore out at exactly the same time our main course was served :) my husband wisked the boys out to the lobby and I stayed at the table to pay our bill and box up our untouched dinners! haha
We are typically VERY choosy about which restaurants we will go to with our children. Applebees and Red Robin are at the top of our list :) The atmosphere in those restaurants is busy and loud! There is alot of activity to keep the boys interested, great coloring pages, balloons and sometimes even the Red Robin himself! haha We work hard at teaching our boys good table manners and proper retaurant behavoir...but an environment like the ones at these two restaurants is great at covering up the boys' small slips because who can hear anything over the blaring radio anyway?? :)
SuprMom12042702
my children have been going to resturants since they were 3 weeks old. My children have also been taught manners and they know that they are to stay quiet and if they want to be loud, they go sit in the bathroom until they calm down and then they have to drink water instead of soda. Sounds crazy, but it works lol
joyfullem
My DD is 15 months and I have been taking her out to eat whenever I go since birth. Not once have we had to leaev because she couldn't behave. Even now that we are gettingto the toddler stages she knows how to behave. It helps that she is used to that type of setting and that we don't let her misbehave at dinnertime at home. She sits and we eat no matter where. She enjoys going out so much that she is happy the whold time anyways!
twinclubmom
We usually pick family friendly places and time our meal accordingly. If we're going to dinner, we make sure we're at the restaurant by 5 in order to get prompt service and avoid the rush. This still doesn't always ensure a pleasant dining experience with two year old twins but we make the best of it. The worst was probably when one of the boys didn't want to sit and when I tried to take him for a walk he'd just hurl himself to the ground. Needless to say we made as quick an exit as possible that night!
Liz_24
My toddler started throwing a fit when another boy we were with scared him. I knew he wasn't going to calm down in this busy restaurant, so I quickly got a to-go box and started dragging him out (I was 7 months pregnant at the time). On the way out, an old man told my son to "Shutup!" I don't know if he thought he was being funny or what, but I just told him that that really wasn't helpful. On the way out of the parking lot, I drove by him and gave him the finger!
babymama322
We take our 20 month old and our 4 yr old out to eat all the time. We try to always choose family friendly restaurants. Our son doesn't always sit still and once in a while my dd has had a melt down. But it is usually our fault cause it is nap time or has been too long since she ate. But it is important to choose family friendly restaurants.