Mom Accused of Biting 2-Year-Old to Teach Her a Lesson

Say What!? 139

biteThere's spanking your kids. And then there's biting them. A mom is defending herself against accusations that she bit her 2-year-old daughter on the shoulder. But her boyfriend claims she has an excuse: She was just trying to teach her daughter not to bite. That's okay, right?!?

Riiiiight. Well, here's what happened. A police officer spotted teeth marks in the shoulder of a toddler. When he confronted the mother, Christina Crandall, she said she didn't know how those teeth marks got there. But her boyfriend claimed Christina's daughter bit her first, and Christina bit her back to show her daughter how it feels. Now Christina faces charges of assault and child cruelty.

Does that seem a little severe for a little difference of opinion on the subject of parenting techniques? I've actually seen parents and caretakers do this sort of thing on the playground. Their child hits or pinches, and they pinch back and say, "See? That hurts! Don't do that!"

I guess there's a sort of logic to it. Or there would be, if the adults were doing it to other adults. But I don't even think this makes sense to toddlers. You have to remember, they don't think like we do. They're still figuring out cause and effect. What's more, they're looking to us for emotional support. If the person you love most in the world, the person your whole life depends on, HURTS you, what kind of message does that send?

Every single time I've seen an adult hit or pinch back (I've never seen actual biting, wow), I've seen the same sad look of confused betrayal in the child's eyes. NOT a look of comprehension. NOT "Ah-ha! I see now! That hurts people." And in the end, the grownup just ends up looking cruel and foolish. Not to mention -- why is it suddenly okay for you to hurt your child, but not for your child to hurt others?

I don't know that parents who hit back really need to be charged with assault and child cruelty. But come on. This is not effective parenting. This is just one adult acting childish with a child.

Do you ever hit, bite, or pinch your children back in order to teach them a lesson?

 

Image via Alisha V/Flickr

in the news, toddler development

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nonmember avatar Brittany

Maybe if the government would let parents actually raise their children (spanking without fear of being arrested). We wouldn't have so many troubled teens that turn into deranged adults.

nonmember avatar eryn

Yes. I do bite my daughter when she bites me. she laughs when I do the "exaggerated reaction", like saying owwww it hurts mama! boo hoo!
my husband and I both do it. Thats how it feels, doesnt feel good, does it? and our daughter is a very respectful, polite little girl who has fun and still runs to us screaming "MAMA! DADDY!! I LOVE YOU!!!" the second she wakes up.
Oops, I guess we scarred her from biting/pinching back. uh huh. ok.
Bottom line? I will NOT tolerate my child pinching/biting me. Absolutely not.

Phill... Phillymama123

My cousin (my age) was a biter. One day when we were 3 my mom gently bit him to show him it hurts but did not leave a mark. However, apparently I thought it was a game bit.her and broke the skin. The human mouth is gross. One er trip and an rx for antibiotics later she learned that kind of discipline can really backfire.

Marion Blohm

My son had been biting for a little while and he bit me hard once. I bit back, did not leave a mark but the two year old never ever bit me or anyone else again. I see nothing wrong with it as long as you don't leave a mark. I beleive in spanking when needed also. Kids today have it easy, lets do the time out thing..yea right like that does any good.

babyn... babynurse454

I've known a lot of moms that have used the biting back routine and it worked. My little sister was a biter so our mom bit her, she never did it again. My god daughters little boy is 4 years old he has been kicked out of 5 preschools for biting and pinching, his parents are very by the book parents so the only trouble he gets into is that he is spoken to about his actions and a favorite toy taken away!! LOL... i think he needs a taste of his own medicine.

Chelc177 Chelc177

Spanking, biting back, pinching, hitting etc, can get out of hand quickly or be excessive. especially when you are doing it out of anger. You teach a child the logic of you hurt me, I hurt you back, can go very wrong. I am happy to be a parent who has never laid a hand on their child, and never will. 

Katie Cruz

Yes, I have bitten, pinched, and hit my children back. The older two didn't really do much of that, but they got the point. My youngest, however, is a different story. She does stuff like this all the time. I have done the same for her. She's the one that seems not to understand. The other two understood perfectly. Every kid is different. Also, if you're leaving marks on your children, it's NOT ok. That's called abuse, and that's why this woman is in hot water-especially because she lied about it. That means she knew the way she went about it was wrong.

md_1015 md_1015

My brother used to bite and one day I bit him back just as hard as he bit me and never again did he bite a soul. I am 15 years older then him and practically raised him. Guess I am bad because I will do the same thing with my dd.

loulo... louloulove

I've bit all three of my kids and guess what it works. Abuse you say? My two year old leaving bruises and open bites on her sister is abuse. Me just putting enough pressure for discomfort is not. When they feel what "ow ouch ow ouchie" feels likes they stop inflicting pain

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