Mom Accused of Biting 2-Year-Old to Teach Her a Lesson

Say What!? 139

biteThere's spanking your kids. And then there's biting them. A mom is defending herself against accusations that she bit her 2-year-old daughter on the shoulder. But her boyfriend claims she has an excuse: She was just trying to teach her daughter not to bite. That's okay, right?!?

Riiiiight. Well, here's what happened. A police officer spotted teeth marks in the shoulder of a toddler. When he confronted the mother, Christina Crandall, she said she didn't know how those teeth marks got there. But her boyfriend claimed Christina's daughter bit her first, and Christina bit her back to show her daughter how it feels. Now Christina faces charges of assault and child cruelty.

Does that seem a little severe for a little difference of opinion on the subject of parenting techniques? I've actually seen parents and caretakers do this sort of thing on the playground. Their child hits or pinches, and they pinch back and say, "See? That hurts! Don't do that!"

I guess there's a sort of logic to it. Or there would be, if the adults were doing it to other adults. But I don't even think this makes sense to toddlers. You have to remember, they don't think like we do. They're still figuring out cause and effect. What's more, they're looking to us for emotional support. If the person you love most in the world, the person your whole life depends on, HURTS you, what kind of message does that send?

Every single time I've seen an adult hit or pinch back (I've never seen actual biting, wow), I've seen the same sad look of confused betrayal in the child's eyes. NOT a look of comprehension. NOT "Ah-ha! I see now! That hurts people." And in the end, the grownup just ends up looking cruel and foolish. Not to mention -- why is it suddenly okay for you to hurt your child, but not for your child to hurt others?

I don't know that parents who hit back really need to be charged with assault and child cruelty. But come on. This is not effective parenting. This is just one adult acting childish with a child.

Do you ever hit, bite, or pinch your children back in order to teach them a lesson?

 

Image via Alisha V/Flickr

in the news, toddler development

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nonmember avatar Layah

My brother went through a biting stage for a couple years..he was grounded and or whipped..my grandpa bit him one day after he bit my other brother and ever since he stopped..same with my kids..once I bit them back, they never bit anyone ever again..now I do believe there were marks for a few min but nothing more than that..

nonmember avatar candice

Good lord always the judge but never the jury. People like that are just RIDICULES. "im judging you" AND what...are we supposed to care what u think? Nope ur just a nobody on the internet just like the rest of us. I hate ppl like that. I'm sure Uve raised a dozen kids and all of them are fine upstanding citizens with college degrees, 6 figure jobs and picture perfect familes of their own...I mean after all that wld be the only thing that made u an expert and put u in a postion to judge any one else. The good lord said judge not least you be judged...and even you on ur self made throne have skeltons in ur closet. So do us all a favor and only judge when ur looking in a mirror. Afterall that is the only person u have a right to judge. That being said ive never bit my children but I've sure whooped that butt a time or two and wldnt u believe it...even my 18 mnth old minds & says please and thank you and both love me to the moon and back I cld site a ton of reasons why I know my kids are well adjust(such as my honor roll student) but ppl like u think u have all answers ap what's the point. I feel sorry for YOUR kids have such a judgmental rude person raise them. Hopefully 20 yrs from now we won't see them on here spouting the same judgemental crap. Have a nice day.

Beth Richardson

I don't see anything wrong with biting back if warnings and other things aren't working. They may not realize the amount of pain they cause. If they do, and think it's funny, they need to be shown how "not funny" it is to be bitten. I'm not talking about drawing blood but it doesn't take much of a bite to feel pain. It is not abuse in my opinion to show what being bitten feels like.

MomOf... MomOf2AndAZoo

When my children were younger, they went through a short period of biting. So, after telling them to stop many times, I finally started letting the one that got bitten bite the other one back. It quickly stopped. But I never bit my kids, & they never bit me. They just bit each other.

nonmember avatar jessi

Hasnt anyone taught you people that two wrongs DONT make a right? When my 2 year old hurts me (bitting, hitting, kicking, etc) I dont repeat the action on her to show her how it feels! Thats abuse! I get down to her level and I simply tell her " thats not a way to tell mommy your mad. That hurt mommy." 9 times out of 10 she gets it, gives me a hug and says sorry. Young children are not preprogramed to know what is right and what is wrong. It is your job as a parent to show them in a loving way. You dont hurt you children " out of love " or to " teach them a lesson ". People lash out at their children because they are angery or are flat out bullies!

Lilah Newkirk

I have in the past, and know others who still do the same thing to teach their child a lesson. I think biting is ok. Not hard enough to leave a mark or marks, just hard enough to let them know that its painful. That look of sadness is a normal response because it also lets them know "oh" thats what they felt when i did it so i cant do it anymore. HOWEVER, charging a parent with assult and abuse? i think that is way over the top. Many of us were raised getting our asses whooped for things we did wrong and MOST of us turned out just fine. I think the government needs to step OUT of the parenting situation and let parents parent. however take seriously reports of overdoing it from others but dont walk in assume and remove the child without proper evidence

nonmember avatar Kim

"You`ll have better results with(fill in the blank)" is a load of crap. Every kid is different. My oldest was a biter and biting him back made it worse, but the one who advised me to try it said it worked on her kid. I may have left a mark I don`t remember but my kid is all grown up and turned out wonderful. Parenting is trial and error, no one is perfect at it and as long as you love your kids and desire the best for them I believe they will fare quite well, even with mess-ups along the way. Go after druggies and molesters for goodness sake. That poor mom.

nonmember avatar Anonymous

Today's parents use discipline that was used on them, it's abuse. Swat your child's butt in public because they need it, you are a horrible parent. What is this world coming to? Yes there are always extremes, and abuse, but not all discipline that is dubbed abuse today was abusive when we were kids, or when our parents were kids. How far does it have to go? For years, the way to teach a biting toddler not to bite was to bite them back. If your toddler pinched, you pinched them. Is it really so unbelievable that it has to make "news" when a parent today uses the discipline methods that were used on them?

The officer saw teeth marks, it doesn't say he saw bruises, or swelling, or any other signs of abuse. Had it just happened, and the indents were still there? If I bite my finger(to avoid crying out) because I stub my toe or whatever, it leaves teeth marks. They go away in a minute or two.

Kasandra Stovall

Doodledo says as her children have no respect for her or any other authority.

nonmember avatar Michelle

I agree with April Minter. I abhor abuse, but some kids need discipline...

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