Mom Accused of Biting 2-Year-Old to Teach Her a Lesson

Say What!? 139

biteThere's spanking your kids. And then there's biting them. A mom is defending herself against accusations that she bit her 2-year-old daughter on the shoulder. But her boyfriend claims she has an excuse: She was just trying to teach her daughter not to bite. That's okay, right?!?

Riiiiight. Well, here's what happened. A police officer spotted teeth marks in the shoulder of a toddler. When he confronted the mother, Christina Crandall, she said she didn't know how those teeth marks got there. But her boyfriend claimed Christina's daughter bit her first, and Christina bit her back to show her daughter how it feels. Now Christina faces charges of assault and child cruelty.

Does that seem a little severe for a little difference of opinion on the subject of parenting techniques? I've actually seen parents and caretakers do this sort of thing on the playground. Their child hits or pinches, and they pinch back and say, "See? That hurts! Don't do that!"

I guess there's a sort of logic to it. Or there would be, if the adults were doing it to other adults. But I don't even think this makes sense to toddlers. You have to remember, they don't think like we do. They're still figuring out cause and effect. What's more, they're looking to us for emotional support. If the person you love most in the world, the person your whole life depends on, HURTS you, what kind of message does that send?

Every single time I've seen an adult hit or pinch back (I've never seen actual biting, wow), I've seen the same sad look of confused betrayal in the child's eyes. NOT a look of comprehension. NOT "Ah-ha! I see now! That hurts people." And in the end, the grownup just ends up looking cruel and foolish. Not to mention -- why is it suddenly okay for you to hurt your child, but not for your child to hurt others?

I don't know that parents who hit back really need to be charged with assault and child cruelty. But come on. This is not effective parenting. This is just one adult acting childish with a child.

Do you ever hit, bite, or pinch your children back in order to teach them a lesson?

 

Image via Alisha V/Flickr

in the news, toddler development

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nonmember avatar Shandeigh

Oh look... the judgy mommies are out. What works for one kid... won't necessarily work for another. I literally tried everything including lightly biting him back to get my son to stop biting... and nothing worked until he bit an older child and wouldn't let go and that older child slapped him pretty hard in the face... and then he "got it" and has never bitten anyone since.

the4m... the4mutts

I did it. It worked. Pretending to cry when the bit me, wouldnt have worked. How do i know? Because when they bit their siblings, and their siblings cried, they laughed.

2 of my 4 were biters. I bit them each back twice. They stopped. The end.

nonmember avatar Lisa

Yeah, Im still trying to figure this one out. I tried lightly biting my daughter back, but she thought it was hilarious and now she will ask me to bite her, like its a game. (She'll be 2 in a few days.) She is learning that biting others is not ok, because I can read her pretty well and stop her before it happens. I put her on "time in", which means sitting with me while I am calm, allowing her to calm down. I highly suggest time-ins!

Tami Walker

I have bit my son back before but only lightly. And he has stopped biting, but that does not make me an abusive parent. We all know kids are different some need a physical discipline while others verbal and some need something over the top. My son just needed that discipline in that moment. Now we are taking away his hands when he hits. It's an in the moment thing when it comes to toddlers just what works then may not work in ten minutes.

villa... villagemamma

I will NEVER forget the day i bit my little sister and my grandma grabbed my arm and bit me back... I never bit anyone ever again lol.

Liane... Lianetherider

When I was about three, I was a biter. My brother still has scars! My mom caught me doing it, warned me, and the next time, she bit me on the arm. I never bit again. (This is all according to my grandma, since I don't remember it). I think where the mom in the OP got out of hand was in biting hard enough to leave marks. That IS a problem.

early... earlybird11

I hear ya about ' how hard ' but its effective. Som went through a biting stage.... 6 days . 5 victims. Me, daddy , Grammy and two poor babies at school. I was the last, not the first or those other 4 wouldn't be in this story !

embar... embarrett91

I agree with flower_momma....my sister had a friend she worked with whose son was a biter, he bit my sister all the time and his mother would tell him to stop but he wouldn't stop and she wouldn't do anything to try and stop him because she felt it was helpless, she felt her two sons were too much for her too handle and she let them do these things if they wouldn't listen. so one day my sister was sick of him biting her and she bit him back on the arm and he was so shocked, he didn't show signs of being very hurt, just shocked and she tld him, it hurts i don't like it, it's not fun and not nice and really not something you should do to people and he never did it to her again and she left no marks on him. it is sketchy that the mother in this article, not only left marks, but then tried denying it to the police officer instead of just explaining to him what she was trying to do.

Samantha Watkins

You will teach a child more by looking at them, saying their name softly, and having them look at the child they just injured. It teaches them to look at the consequence of what they did. The child will then see the hurt, and you can point out the hurt on the face of the other child. The child you are disciplining will then feel what the other child is feeling if you allow and encourage that. Don't be surprised if the child cries and feels very bad. This is a good thing. It means they got it. If they laugh at the other child being hurt, then you need to look at who your child is around that laughs when someone is hurt, and decide if that is someone you want to have so much influence over your child.

April Minter

And not allowing parents to teach thier children is why we have teen pregnancies and teenagers who are idiots, and i mean MORE than what would normally be. Doing drugs, drinking, having sex at 12, talking back and being rediculously rude to the parents, etc.. I know teenagers go through a phase of not listening, sneaking out, and things like that, but they used to be so much smarter than now.

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