There's spanking your kids. And then there's biting them. A mom is defending herself against accusations that she bit her 2-year-old daughter on the shoulder. But her boyfriend claims she has an excuse: She was just trying to teach her daughter not to bite. That's okay, right?!?
Riiiiight. Well, here's what happened. A police officer spotted teeth marks in the shoulder of a toddler. When he confronted the mother, Christina Crandall, she said she didn't know how those teeth marks got there. But her boyfriend claimed Christina's daughter bit her first, and Christina bit her back to show her daughter how it feels. Now Christina faces charges of assault and child cruelty.
Does that seem a little severe for a little difference of opinion on the subject of parenting techniques? I've actually seen parents and caretakers do this sort of thing on the playground. Their child hits or pinches, and they pinch back and say, "See? That hurts! Don't do that!"
I guess there's a sort of logic to it. Or there would be, if the adults were doing it to other adults. But I don't even think this makes sense to toddlers. You have to remember, they don't think like we do. They're still figuring out cause and effect. What's more, they're looking to us for emotional support. If the person you love most in the world, the person your whole life depends on, HURTS you, what kind of message does that send?
Every single time I've seen an adult hit or pinch back (I've never seen actual biting, wow), I've seen the same sad look of confused betrayal in the child's eyes. NOT a look of comprehension. NOT "Ah-ha! I see now! That hurts people." And in the end, the grownup just ends up looking cruel and foolish. Not to mention -- why is it suddenly okay for you to hurt your child, but not for your child to hurt others?
I don't know that parents who hit back really need to be charged with assault and child cruelty. But come on. This is not effective parenting. This is just one adult acting childish with a child.
Do you ever hit, bite, or pinch your children back in order to teach them a lesson?
Image via Alisha V/Flickr
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Comments 134
2 of my 4 were biters. I bit them each back twice. They stopped. The end.
I will NEVER forget the day i bit my little sister and my grandma grabbed my arm and bit me back... I never bit anyone ever again lol.
When I was about three, I was a biter. My brother still has scars! My mom caught me doing it, warned me, and the next time, she bit me on the arm. I never bit again. (This is all according to my grandma, since I don't remember it). I think where the mom in the OP got out of hand was in biting hard enough to leave marks. That IS a problem.
I agree with flower_momma....my sister had a friend she worked with whose son was a biter, he bit my sister all the time and his mother would tell him to stop but he wouldn't stop and she wouldn't do anything to try and stop him because she felt it was helpless, she felt her two sons were too much for her too handle and she let them do these things if they wouldn't listen. so one day my sister was sick of him biting her and she bit him back on the arm and he was so shocked, he didn't show signs of being very hurt, just shocked and she tld him, it hurts i don't like it, it's not fun and not nice and really not something you should do to people and he never did it to her again and she left no marks on him. it is sketchy that the mother in this article, not only left marks, but then tried denying it to the police officer instead of just explaining to him what she was trying to do.