'Hunger Games' Actress Says Parents of Only Children Aren't 'Really' Moms

Rant 78

Elizabeth BanksIs anyone else's blood boiling just reading that headline? I had to read the article in which Hunger Games star Elizabeth Banks said it several times, just to make sure it hadn't been taken out of context or otherwise misconstrued. But no, she said it alright.

She spoke to People this past weekend about how life has changed significantly since she had her second child in November. I don't doubt that. But then she went on to say: "You don’t realize how easy one is until you have two. Now I’m really a mom. Oh, I am a mom now! This is for serious — I am responsible for two people now.”

And before she was really a mom, she was what exactly to her son? A nanny? A partial mom? A ... WHAT?!

It's so rude and so insulting to parents of only children. Whether she meant it that way or not, it's incredibly insensitive. I had only child for more than five years while we struggled with secondary infertility, and for years I thought my son would be an only child. So I'm especially sensitive to comments people make like this.

We fortunately finally had a daughter, so I know what it's like to go from one to two children. It's definitely more work, plain and simple. There are two mouths to feed and clean and attempt to quiet down in public places. It seems like someone needs something from you all the time. But I certainly was every bit a REAL mother when it was just my son. It may have been easier in some ways when it was just him, but it wasn't EASY. Parenting never is.

In general, Banks seems pretty out of touch with what REAL moms do too. She described to the magazine how over the holidays she and her husband, Max Handelman, had no help for 10 whole days:

We had no help, no nannies, no babysitters. It was crazy. You forget how difficult it is to wake up in the middle of the night, how exhausting it is. I lost all my nails. I did dishes and cleaned bottles for 10 days so I lost all those nails!

Yep, that's what most REAL moms do ... no matter how many children they have.

Do you find Elizabeth Banks' comments offensive?

 

Image via david_shankbone/Flickr

a mom's life, celeb moms

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2nino... 2ninos4me

oh wow ! she messed up bigggg time with her comment .


im sure she has it wayyyy easier than most of us because afterall , she pays someone to take care of her kids most time and even at night ! so no wonder she didnt know hwo parenting is really difficult .


anyways , my head is spinning so bad i forgot what i was gonna write .


btw , im a mom to two amazing boys and i was a mom from the minute i was expecting my first son ( gasp !) yes , i didnt wait for my first to be born or for my second to be born to call myself a mother

wamom223 wamom223

I'm not offended because I know I am a real mom even with just one.  I would love the chaos of another one and can't wait to be blessed with that gift but I've learned the hard way its pointless to get worked up over what ignorant people say.  I know someone that said she felt like a real mom with her first child and when he went and started school she had her next one that was so easy she felt like she wasn't a real mom to him.  Every family is different and every kid is different.  A mother of twins isn't more of a real mom than me, but she may kick my ass in the multi tasking department but in the end we are both mom's.  Reading this blog it made me sad that she doesn't know what real mom's do every day with out help.  I've said it before but my favorite scene from sex and the city 2 is when Miranda and  Charlotte give a toast to us mom's with no 'help.'

Pinkmani Pinkmani

What if I said acting really wasn't a career?

Laura Palmer

And your not a real mom when you hire a nanny to raise your 2 children either...

sand008 sand008

I have one child, I would love to have another but financially my hubby and I can't afford another.I applaud the moms that have multiple children. But don't tell me I'm not a mom because I only have one.

Daya81 Daya81

she's probably oblivious to how that sounds. at least i'm hoping so! she was 100% mom even after her first baby was born via surrogate. more than one makes you no more or less of a mom. maybe you have more work to do but that depends on your kid(s)!

Rhond... RhondaVeggie

Bill Cosby said the same thing years ago. Who cares? Clearly they're idiots who don't know what they're talking about. Cosby was working full time on his show. Banks has a nanny. What do they know about real parenting?

SLMit... SLMitchell

I do not think she meant that women who have only one child are not real mothers.  It seems to me that she was only saying that she personally feels more like what she has always imagined a mom to be now that she has more than one person to take care of.  Perhaps she has always wanted multiple children, and she simply meant that she feels complete as a mother now.


Either way, I can kind of understand what she meant.  It has certainly not be the proverbial walk in the park, but raising one child has not been extremely difficult.  Only one child needs my undivided attention and love; only one child needs me to listen to them; I only need(ed) to handle one set of diapers, one bath time, one bedtime, one mealtime, one child's schedule, etc.  Also, as much as I love my daughter unconditionally, I honestly do not feel that my family is complete yet, because I have always envisioned a house full of children.


I do not believe she said what she did in a malicious or offensive way.

handy... handy0318

You have to learn to let comments like these roll.  Both my kids were adopted out of the foster care program... you'd be amazed at how many comments parents like me and my husband get about not being "real" parents.  Anyone invested in raising a child, whether one of them or more, is a real parent.

Elyse Eisenberg

She clearly didn't mean it as "You're not a real mom if you only have one child." It was a statement about herself. She was just commenting on how difficult it is to balance two children and how it made HER feel being a mom is now more of a full-time job. She did not comment on other mothers AT ALL in that statement... just herself. This was blown way out of proportion. It was an honest, personal statement about her own experience.

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