Still Co-Sleeping 3 Years Later

Mom Moment 73

sleeping toddlerIf anyone asked me if I would still be co-sleeping with my babies by the time they reached 3, I'd say no. I realize my twins are technically no longer babies at 3, but there are ways they still are. My son actually prefers his crib. Yes, I said crib -- 3-year-old in crib. He never climbs out, and sleeps really well. Why mess with a good thing? Also a good thing: My daughter co-sleeping with me and my husband.

It works for us. More specifically it works for our daughter who just doesn't like sleeping alone. My mom tells me I didn't like sleeping alone either when I was a kid. My dad used to work nights and I remember crawling into bed with her on and off up until I was 12. That may sound horrifying to some, but for me it was comforting.

My daughter never really had to sleep alone -- she was in my womb with her brother, they both slept in the same co-sleeper next to our bed for the first six months, and after a short stint in her own crib, Pippi often ended up back in our bed. At first my husband and I disagreed on co-sleeping -- he wanted the kids in their cribs. But he came around. It's precious to wake up in the morning and see them cuddling.

More from The Stir: 9 Safe Co-Sleeping Tips to Help You Stay Out of the News

We did try to end co-sleeping. When we first moved from a small Brooklyn apartment to a house with real bedrooms, we got the kids twin-sized beds and set up both of their rooms with everything they loved thinking this was it! My son, often clingy during the day, loves to sleep alone. Though if you count the blanket he's had since birth, select cars, and the Spider Man doll that must accompany him in the crib, he really isn't "alone." But not my daughter.

At first, Pippi took a liking to her big girl bed along with the cute firefly bedding we bought her and like magic, we thought it was the end. She slept the whole night through in her own room for the first week. Then it was a few nights a week; and now we're back to every night in the family bed.

Instead of trying to get her to stay in her room, we just upgraded to a king size bed so we can all sleep more comfortably. If you share a bed with your kids, you know how they turn gymnastic in their sleep. And in case you're wondering, my husband and I don't rely on our bed to be intimate. Co-sleeping doesn't have to kill your sex life.

Am I holding her back from learning to be more independent? I don't think so. She's only this age once. And even if she's sleeping in our bed on and off until she's 12, she's still only a kid once. I want to cherish every moment of that ... even the sleeping ones. There will be that day when she's moving out, getting her own apartment outside my womb (and bed), and her brother will one day no longer be sleeping in a crib. Hopefully.

I'm not kicking her out because I remember how I felt at 12 and wanting to sleep with my mom. It was comfort. It was security. I felt safe. No boogie man was going to get me with my mom around. Unreasonable? Maybe. It's just how I felt. Sleeping alone in my bed was cold, lonely, and scary. And that was me at 12. Pippi is 3. A baby. Okay a toddler, but still my baby. We went from a tiny house to one with halls and stairs. That's a big change. And frankly, I love having her next to me. It's comfort.

Do you co-sleep with your toddler? How does it work for you?


Image via Michele Zipp

a mom's life, natural parenting


To add a comment, please log in with

Use Your CafeMom Profile

Join CafeMom or Log in to your CafeMom account. CafeMom members can keep track of their comments.

Join CafeMom or Log in to your CafeMom account. CafeMom members can keep track of their comments.

Comment As a Guest

Guest comments are moderated and will not appear immediately.

Pinkmani Pinkmani

You upgraded to a king sized bed to make it more comfortable for the 3 of you? 

sofia... sofia0587

Heck no but she also doesn't want to, she loves having her own space in her own room

linzemae linzemae

everyone does whatever is right for their family. We upgraded to a king size bed so both of our dogs can sleep with us. 

PonyC... PonyChaser

I wonder, did you ever consider putting the twins in a room together, while they're still little? I've had friends with twins that found it to work very well... the kids are so used to being together - as you said, they started out that way, sharing a womb, they have that connection. Seems like it might have helped your daughter transition to her own space a little better.

Regardless, whatever works. Personally, I wouldn't do it. I like my space when I sleep. My son comes and cuddles with me now and then, but he's ALL over the place, and eventually I have to kick him out, or I don't sleep at all. As you said, they'll grow up and demand their own space soon enough. If this works for y'all now, enjoy it.

jalaz77 jalaz77

Nope. Woke up one night after nursing my second child in bed and he was wedged under my back, I must have really really tired. Never again did I bring my babies in bed with me. As toddlers they come in and snuggle for a bit in the early mornings but that is pretty rare.

nonmember avatar Donna

My soon to be 8yr old daughter still sleeps in the bed with me. She will tell you she has no plans to sleep in her own room or her own full size bed. I am a single mom and it helps to know she is safe. I can reach out and touch her to know she is safe. We also co sleep with 2 cats!

Wendy Hanson

both my girls slept in cribs for a long time, then co-slept before moving on to their own beds.  do whatever works for you and your family.  they are only little once.

pupuk... pupukeawahine

Our son slept with us until he was eight.  Once in awhile in the morning he crawls in bed with me and we talk about all sorts of things.  I did this with my grandma into my teens.  My dad and his brother slept with each of their parents until they were seven.  Both became very successful men, my uncle being one of the world's top scientists.  I think it makes people more grounded and secure.  My son still kisses or hugs me several times a day, and he's a teenager.  I hope I have passed on the tradition in my family of affection among family members.  Go to The Slate today--there is an article about attachment parenting and how it has been done for thousands of years and is still being done in indigenous parts of the world.  They write about how secure and independent those children grow up to be.

1-10 of 73 comments 12345 Last