Follow The Stir

Hot List

17 Things I'd Rather Do With My Time Than Hide an Elf

by Jacqueline Burt on December 6, 2012 at 10:52 PM

elvesSeems like moms fall into one of two categories these days: Those who hide elves on shelves, and those who hate elves on shelves, and never the twain shall meet. The twain shall, however, slam each other mercilessly for their elf-hiding habits (or lack thereof). And when I say mercilessly, I'm not kidding. It's like elf-hiding is the new breastfeeding: An excuse to judge all the moms with the nerve to make a different choice than our own. A gesture that's taken on way too much significance, except, unlike breastfeeding, which actually sustains life and is worth discussion, it's a freaking doll on a shelf. Mm-kay?

Personally, the whole idea gives me the creeps, probably because it makes me think of that Rockwell/Michael Jackson song ("Somebody's Watching Me"), which had a really creepy video. Anyway. Point is, as a busy mom, there are about a million things I'd rather be doing with those precious post-bedtime hours than playing hide-the-elf. Such as:

1. Sleeping.

2. Watching all those unwatched episodes of Boardwalk Empire I have on DVR.

3. Cleaning out the refrigerator (that Thanksgiving turkey really needs to go).

4. Gathering the many, many articles of clothing my kids outgrew after wearing approximately 2.5 times and donating them to (shorter) kids in need.

5. Returning emails.

6. Taking photos of all the artwork my kids have done over the years so I can throw out some of the more fire-hazardous originals without feeling tooooo guilty.

7. Trashing 97.8% of the random files sitting on my desktop, making my computer so infuriatingly sluggish I want to throw it out the window on a daily basis.

8. Doing yoga.

9. Deep-conditioning my hair.

10. Cleaning my make-up brushes.

11. Finding my french press coffee maker. Where IS that thing?!

12. Teaching myself to play the harmonica.

13. Taking the paintings and framed photos currently buried in a closet and actually hanging them on the walls.

14. Finding my passport. Where IS that thing?!

15. Reading. (Like, an actual book!)

16. Staring into space.

17. Exfoliating.

I could go on. And on, and on, and on. But I've got waaay to much to do.

What would you rather do with your time than hide an elf on a shelf?

Image via Mikko Luntiala/Flickr

Filed Under: christmas


  • kelti...


    December 6, 2012 at 10:54 PM
    Um, it takes me less than three minutes to hide our elf. But I guess conditioning your hair and reading a book is better than creating a fun tradition for your kids.
  • power...


    December 6, 2012 at 11:02 PM

    why do you do you put an elf on a shelf anyway?

  • Desti...


    December 6, 2012 at 11:02 PM

    We have never had the elf. But I sure do enjoy reading about the elf wars, and seeing what some moms do with the elf after a few glasses of wine! Lol

  • BPayne09


    December 6, 2012 at 11:04 PM
    I'd rather do elf on a shelf. It's something fun to do with my child. Doing things with him/for him are way more important to me than whatever petty thing I could be doing for the 5 min it takes to move it.
  • purvi...


    December 6, 2012 at 11:04 PM
    The elf thing creeps me out. My 6 year old already hates the Easter bunny (she cried last year at the thought of a giant bunny roaming around the house while she slept) and she's really not all that keen on Santa, so introducing yet another thing that's supposedly watching her every move isn't something I'm wanting to deal with.We already have a bunch of traditions and honestly I just don't have the energy or patience to add in another one.
  • britn...


    December 6, 2012 at 11:10 PM
    I think he's creepy too, but I have seen some funny ideas about him on pintrest!!!! Still, I would rather do anything than hide a creepy doll around my house
  • Mrsd
    -- Nonmember comment from


    December 6, 2012 at 11:31 PM
    Way too trendy of a "tradition" for me. We will stick to original family traditions not sold at stores ;)
  • NoR_C...


    December 6, 2012 at 11:37 PM
    The look on my kids' faces every morning when they wake up and see what our elf has been up to is priceless. It like Christmas morning every day in December. Definitely worth the two minutes it takes to set up different scenarios.
  • Histo...


    December 6, 2012 at 11:37 PM

    Lol- I make many memories with my children, none of them involve a creepy elf that stares at them and threatens to tattle to santa about how good/bad they are being.

  • Austi...
    -- Facebook comment from

    Austin Keenan

    December 6, 2012 at 11:43 PM

    Don't do this one,   don't care who does,   don't care who thinks what about who does or doesn't.

1-10 of 41 comments

To leave a comment, log in as a CafeMom member:

Log In

OR, use our non-member comment form: