17 Things I'd Rather Do With My Time Than Hide an Elf

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elvesSeems like moms fall into one of two categories these days: Those who hide elves on shelves, and those who hate elves on shelves, and never the twain shall meet. The twain shall, however, slam each other mercilessly for their elf-hiding habits (or lack thereof). And when I say mercilessly, I'm not kidding. It's like elf-hiding is the new breastfeeding: An excuse to judge all the moms with the nerve to make a different choice than our own. A gesture that's taken on way too much significance, except, unlike breastfeeding, which actually sustains life and is worth discussion, it's a freaking doll on a shelf. Mm-kay?

Personally, the whole idea gives me the creeps, probably because it makes me think of that Rockwell/Michael Jackson song ("Somebody's Watching Me"), which had a really creepy video. Anyway. Point is, as a busy mom, there are about a million things I'd rather be doing with those precious post-bedtime hours than playing hide-the-elf. Such as:

1. Sleeping.

2. Watching all those unwatched episodes of Boardwalk Empire I have on DVR.

3. Cleaning out the refrigerator (that Thanksgiving turkey really needs to go).

4. Gathering the many, many articles of clothing my kids outgrew after wearing approximately 2.5 times and donating them to (shorter) kids in need.

5. Returning emails.

6. Taking photos of all the artwork my kids have done over the years so I can throw out some of the more fire-hazardous originals without feeling tooooo guilty.

7. Trashing 97.8% of the random files sitting on my desktop, making my computer so infuriatingly sluggish I want to throw it out the window on a daily basis.

8. Doing yoga.

9. Deep-conditioning my hair.

10. Cleaning my make-up brushes.

11. Finding my french press coffee maker. Where IS that thing?!

12. Teaching myself to play the harmonica.

13. Taking the paintings and framed photos currently buried in a closet and actually hanging them on the walls.

14. Finding my passport. Where IS that thing?!

15. Reading. (Like, an actual book!)

16. Staring into space.

17. Exfoliating.

I could go on. And on, and on, and on. But I've got waaay to much to do.

What would you rather do with your time than hide an elf on a shelf?


Image via Mikko Luntiala/Flickr

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Betwe... BetweenCourses

Love how she points out the mommy wars about this doll and BLAMMO! First comment is a snarky pro-elf-ism...... Who cares?! We do advent calendars with chocolates in them, should we frown at those that don't?

douxm... douxmusique

Uh duh advent calendars with chocolate are last year....



We won't ever be doing the elf.on a shelf bit. More power to whoever wants to do that.



I'd rather go play tennis or my guitar or scrapbook. Plenty of memory making goes on without the shelf.

julie... julie21210

Thank for I'm not the only one. My boyfriend had never heard of the elf on the shelf thing and his boss told him about it the other day cuz she is doing It for her two girls... He was all "I think It would be fun to do with brayden" and while I applaud his efforts ( he isnt my sons father but he might as well be, that's another story) I told him "hell no!" He was shocked at my response and I told him I thought it was creepy. It's cute in theory and the story that goes with it but that lil elf creeps me out and I don't want it all over my house, just staring , all Chucky-like. Cuz I feel like it would be watching me. Like those weird pictures that when you look at them you feel like the eyes follow u... He thought I was crazy that the elf scared me. Now I know I'm not the only one

julie... julie21210

Oh and powertothekids ... It supposed to be Santa elf watching to see if kids r naughty or nice and then at night they fly back to the north pole and tell Santa and when they come back they hide somewhere diff everytime . I just know my bf would put that thing under my pillow... Ick.

MsRkg MsRkg

I never even heard if this elf on the shelf thing until the stir , however I know for a fact that my 7 year old would not be amused by this in any fashion. I wouldn't waste my time on this either, even if he was amused. That thing is creepy. We can make a lot of holiday memories without a creepy looking elf lol.

Deweymom Deweymom

I was on the fence about getting one this year...$30 just seems so expensive for what it is. my 4yo showed zero interest in it so we passed. She prefers us to "scan her" with our naughty/nice iPhone app. And that was free. :)

bills... billsfan1104

The damn elf looks like the clown from Poltergeist. I am glad my girls are too old for that. But if others want to do it, I don't think we should berate them.

PonyC... PonyChaser

My mom did this for me when i was a kid... 35 years ago. And now I do it for my son. No, I didn't spend whatever the going rate is for the common elf, I use the little guy I grew up with.


It's only creepy if you MAKE it creepy. I love how people are totally into horror movies, blood/gore/slasher movies, and CSI-style TV shows, but a little tiny elf is "too creepy".


And way to "stir" up yet another 'mommy war'. You talk about how stupid the entire controversy is, and then proceed to bash the tradition that some of us are starting (or continuing) for our own children. Nice.


And how long did it take you to write this? 20 minutes? 30? It took me 2 minutes to move our Elf last night. And then I sat down and read an actual BOOK.

we2an... we2angels

The thing that gets me is that kids quickly learn no matter how they act they'll still get presents. A creepy elf tattling to Santa isn't going to help. I told my kids Santa would bring presents but leaves it up to mom or dad to take away presents in the morning if kids are naughty.

Danielle Hites

I started the tradition last year, my kids LOVE it. I dont care ghoe 'long' it takes to come up with an idea and put it all together its fun and my 2 girls are fun of excitement every morning. that in it self is worth more to me than taking a nasty bath or 'exfoliating' thats personally is a waste of time. my kids childhood is more important to me than that. I personally feel sorry for you, i hope you dont have kids because your way too selfish of a person to have a dog never less a kid.

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