December is officially here, which means it's time to make some final decisions about that perfect outfit for your child's adorable holiday portrait. Whether you're having Junior pose for a picture on Santa's lap or you're looking for something that's just right for a holiday card, you need something special. Something memorable. Perhaps even something that reaches out to all who behold its glory in order to convey the true meaning of the season.

For all those reasons and more, I've compiled a wondrous collection of children's holiday outfits that are virtually certain to bring extra cheer to any family gathering. Without further ado, please enjoy the 8 most amazingly festive -- and completely INSANE -- children's clothing items ever created:

 

 


Etsy

If you're pregnant, why wait until the child is actually outside of your body when you can put him in a holiday sweater now? Decorated with snowflakes, a cheery reindeer, and a seasonal umbilical cord, this maternity shirt is sure to be a crowd-pleaser.



Feather's Flights

This baby onepiece says so many things. "I don't care about my infant's feelings." "I have no idea what Santa looks like." Etc.



MediaSpin

You're thinking this sweater is absolutely perfect as is, right? But just imagine how it'll look with a splatter of milkbarf down the front!



The Gloss

Granted, that child's face is clearly Photoshopped into this outfit, but I'm positive every baby would be overcome with merriness at the sensation of wearing it.



Retro Toys

Every child who's forced to wear this costume is guaranteed to "ring in a good time," don't you think? They'll also grow up to become serial killers, but whatever.



Amazon

Is it Yoda? Is it a leprechaun? No one is certain.



Uproxx

Can you imagine the look on Grandma's face when she gets THIS card in the mail? PS: The most disturbing part is how this image is described as the "Funny, Sexy, And Awesome Cosplay Of The Week."



Funny Junk

The hat's cute enough on its own, but it's his expression that really nails the seasonal mood. Ho ho fucking ho.

What do you think of these holiday outfits? Would you buy one for your kid?