8 Reasons I Love Having Sons

Mom Moment 30

toddler in pumpkin patchLast week, I got to spend time with my two nieces -- one is 2, the other is 1 -- and fell in love with their pretty pouts and frilly dresses and sparkly shoes. Despite the fact that I'm far from girlie, I was outright squee-ing over all of their sugar-and-spice adorableness. At the same time, it made me a little sad, thinking about how I'll never have a daughter of my own. We're not having any more kids, happy with our twin boys -- the shop is closed. So, I can't help but get a little wistful thinking of the tea parties I won't get to have, the American Girl store outings I'll miss, going shopping with my teen...huh, okay, maybe it's not that great.

And, the truth is, I really do love having boys. I've always loved the playfulness and exuberance of little guys, and I feel so lucky to have a couple of my own. So instead of dwelling on the daughter I don't have, I thought I should instead be reveling in the joys of having rough-and-tumble boys. For example...

8 reasons sons are the best

  1. Toddler boys are hilarious. They just are. Sometimes, it's unintentional, like how they toddle around with this chest-puffed swagger, carrying something heavy and manly (like my purse) as though they're big boys. The way they frown at me all serious and thinking, already little men, sitting in judgment. And then, it's just their own wild, rambunctious silliness -- the way they stand in downward dog, heads on the ground, looking at me upside down and laughing. The way they throw all the pillows off of the couch and then hurl their bodies on top of them. The way they run back and forth from room to room, wild and squealing, stopping to give their tiny-voiced "Hiiiiii," along the way.
  1. I don't have to do their hair. I have very curly, unmanageable hair, and zero energy to blow-dry and straighten and product to perfection. When I was little, my mom was forced (so she says) to cut my hair into a mullet because it was so difficult to brush my hair. My boys have beautiful, soft curls, nowhere near as frizzy as mine, but it's pretty poufy. If they were girls, I'd probably be wrestling those curls back with clips or hair ties, and totally unqualified to do so considering my own hair laziness. But with my guys, I can just let it all hang out, in its big, blond messy mop of glory.
  2. It's apparently more acceptable for them to be shoeless and dirty. Now, I personally think it's perfectly acceptable for girls to be totally barefoot and muddy, just as much as boys. I was one of those little girls, so I don't think it's just a boy thing. That being said, you know all those strangers, the ones with the opinions on your child-rearing? Yeah, them. Well, from what I've heard from friends, apparently these strangers are appalled when little girls have dirt in their hair. I'm not saying I let my boys run around like Pig Pen, but I don't sweat it when they're disheveled because I usually don't hear anything worse than, "Oh, boys."
  3. I don't stress as much about their chub. I've had body image issues and food issues since the time I hit early puberty. I think about my weight all the time, when I'm dieting, when I eat something decadent racked with guilt, when I lie in bed at night wondering what I'm going to fit into for this event, worrying someone is going to take my picture. It's a kind of self-hatred that I would never, ever want my kids to have. Of course, if I had a little girl, I would try to make sure it never got to that. I would help her to appreciate her body for what it is, as my parents did. But, as much as my parents tried to instill confidence in me, they couldn't change the messages I got from the outside. I imagine it's only worse for young girls today. My little guys are definitely little chubbers with juicy thighs and edible cheeks. They love food and shove big, honking fistfuls of it into their mouth. In fact, I think their favorite word, as they're sitting in their highchairs, is, "Moooooooooooore." They eat healthy, and love their vegetables, and are very active, so I hope to instill good habits. But, if they continue to be on the chubby side, I'm not going to lie, I think it'll be easier on them than it was on me.
  4. They really do love their Mommy. When I was pregnant, people kept telling me, "Oh boys, they really love their Mommies," which always bugged me because I would think that all children love their mothers, regardless of gender. But, I have to say, I do kind of see it now, what those people were talking about. My guys love to snuggle up with me, and fight each other for room on my lap when we're reading books. Everything I do is, apparently, hilarious, even if it's peeking at them from between the crib slats. Now, of course, I'm sure it's the same way with baby girls, but I have to say, there's something really special about the bond little boys have with their Mommies.
  5. I can stress less about their teen years. Yeah, teenage girls terrify me. Like, I listen to them as they sip their gingerbread lattes, talking about the Biebs and the OMGs and I kind of want to gag myself with a spoon (oh wait, are the kids not saying that these days?). They just seem so, I don't know, foreign and strange to me and unknown. Was I like that? Maybe? But back then, we didn't have Facebook and Kei$ha and dinosaurs roamed the earth. All I know is that I want no part of it! So I'll take all the couch-diving and climbing and head bumps and knee scrapes of my toddler boys now, to save myself the anxiety of having a teenage girl later. Ai yi yi. 
  6. Little boys are damn cool. A few weekends ago, we came home to find about 10 preteen boys running around our block like crazy people. It was our neighbor's son and his friends, I think a birthday party. One kid was in a full-on ninja suit, I think another one was wearing like rubber body armour, and they all had super cool, big-ass water guns. They were hiding behind trees, and diving off of low walls, and rolling down the grassy hills and screaming. It was wild and fun and so, so, so BOY! I turned to my husband and said, "Is that what we have to look forward to?" and he looked back at me with a big grin and said, "Oooooh yeah."
  7. I get to teach them what it really means to be a man. My boys are very lucky that they come from a long line of males who have integrity, who do the right thing, who are reliable and steady and trustworthy. To me, those are important traits in a man. But, I also believe that men should be soft -- that it's okay to be sensitive, it's okay to express your feelings, it's okay to cry. I want my sons to feel that. I want to teach my boys how to treat women, by being a woman that they can respect. I want them to have enough confidence in themselves to not be intimidated by a woman with brains and drive and determination. I want them to know that being a man is about being good and fair and compassionate, but also just about simply being who they are. I know, I know, we have years and years until we have to teach them those lessons. For now though, I'll focus on making them good boys by teaching them to be kind, to be patient, to be loving. And letting them know that if they never grow out of their obsession with shoes, or decide that one day they want an American Girl doll, that's okay too. 

 

 What's your favorite thing about having boys?

 

a mom's life, boys

30 Comments

To add a comment, please log in with

Use Your CafeMom Profile

Join CafeMom or Log in to your CafeMom account. CafeMom members can keep track of their comments.

Join CafeMom or Log in to your CafeMom account. CafeMom members can keep track of their comments.

Comment As a Guest

Guest comments are moderated and will not appear immediately.

poshkat poshkat

Lol, I love my boy!!! I cried when the ultrasound tech said girl. Thankfully she was wrong. Little boys are awesome!!! I do have one issue with your list. I disagree about the hair. My son's hair is rough, thick, grows in every way imaginable. I had to use my conditioner on it to make it manageable. I would rather deal with my niece's hair than my son's any day!

tuffy... tuffymama

My eldest has grown into a terribly serious but seriously funny, and morally convicted, practical young man. I've sometimes wondered in my life where men like that came from, and I got to see one being made. I have really been blessed, watching him come into his own as a briliant writer and lover of literature, philosophy, history and science. My youngest is showing me what true wonder, love and spirit look like, in a tangible form. He's got a spicy sense of humor already, and loves to make us laugh. The chubby cheeks pressed to my face and the little grubby arms wrapped around my neck when he gets excited or just needs a hug make my whole life every time it happens.

kelti... kelticmom

When I was pregnant, I wanted a girl so bad. I had her name picked out, knew how I was going to decorate, had my eye on clothes, etc. When the ultrasound tech told me it was definitely a boy, I was sad for maybe thirty seconds. Then bc I had the 3D scan, I really saw his little face and fell head over heels in love with that little man. He is my best friend, my entertainment, my inspiration, my joy. Little boys hold their mama's hearts in their little grubby hands.

IKnow... IKnow0101

My daughter is more like me, she loves reading, drawing, and music.  She is more quiet.  My son, I really don't know where he came from.  He is a fire cracker, always smiling and just fearless.  I don't know what I would do without either.

purpl... purpleflower514

When my middle son tells me that I am his sweetheart or that I am his best girl my heart melts. Same when my oldest opens the door for me and says "Ladies first!". I still want a little girl to fuss over (or mabye I just want a living doll?) but there is something magical about having little men.

linzemae linzemae

I just found out I'm having a girl and I was bummed that I won't have a mammas boy

divam... divamomtjcj

i love both my boys. im pregnant and everyone says trying for a girl? idk what i have as long as its healthy

purpl... purpleflower514

People keep asking me if I'm going to try for a girl. After 3 sons I don't have any hope for a girl and in all honesty i like being the only girl in the house. I would take another son or 2, though.

Frida266 Frida266

You can still do alot of that fun stuff with your nieces.

Beth Farnham

Just because my daughter wears a bow in her hair nearly every day doesn't mean that I am not building her an indoor slide or a gear set. If she wants a squirt gun party, she can have it. No stereotypes needed.

1-10 of 30 comments 123 Last
F