There's enough mom guilt to go around for years when parents need to hire a nanny to help take care of their children, but I simply cannot imagine the horrific guilt that mom Marina Krim is going to endure after her nanny reportedly stabbed two of her children, ages 2 and 6, to death, and then tried to kill herself. Krim reportedly screamed, "Something happened to my kids!" in a scene that probably shook the other tenants of her Upper West Side apartment building to their core.
Sadly, I'm already seeing a lot of judgmental comments on this story regarding the hiring of nannies. We should bear in mind that we don't know the full story yet.
For one, we don't know that this nanny was "illegal" (a term a lot of people are already throwing around) or how long the family knew her. One neighbor says she had just met the nanny, but that could be just that one neighbor. We do not know where the nanny was hired from, or if a background check had been done. If it's anything stories of late have taught us, it's that people can be at risk from people they know -- neighbors, their own children, their own parents.
Of course, and probably most important to remember, there are thousands of loving, kind, wonderful nannies in the country who do a world of good service to working mothers and fathers. Not everyone has the ability to stay home with three children and no help. In fact, I know stay-at-home moms who have help. In fact, it's unclear whether Marina worked at all (she may have worked as a pediatrician, according to the Daily News). As a blogger who chronicled every detail of her kids lives, she was obviously very involved with them.
There's absolutely nothing wrong with needing help. So let's try to keep an open mind here. This mother, who had to be sedated at the hospital, is going to have enough on her mind without the judgmental comments of strangers.
Unfortunately, however, this story will only heap a load of guilt on moms who are already overloaded with guilt. This is every mother's worst nightmare.
Image via Alan Cleaver/Flickr