A gentlemen's lunchAt 15 months old, my twin boys are starting to transition to one nap, or so it seems. After a couple of weeks of listening to them babble and squeal at each other for an hour straight during their afternoon "nap," I started pushing it back. They don't go down until closer to 3:30 now. That would be fine, except their friends (you know, the super cool babies they met at playgroups who they keep begging me to hang out with) are waking up from their second nap right around the time that my guys are going down. My happy hour playdates -- over! Thanks a lot, kids.
I mean, it's not like I don't get together with my friends, because I do. But it's either because their babies' naps are all effed up too or they just kind of take naps whenever and wherever. So hallelujah for those mom friends who don't have the same rigid parenting philosophies that I do because I need these playdates. Playdates save my sanity!
As any first-time mom will tell you, it's awesome to have friends going through the same things that you are. Who else is going to care about sippy cups and nighttime diapers? I mean, really, I think I could spend hours talking about baby stuff, which -- depending on who you talk to -- either makes me the most boring human being on the planet or a fascinating, engaging conversationalist. And as a result, I've noticed that the new friends I've made all seem to have one thing in common: they have similar parenting styles to me.
It makes it a lot easier when I explain that I walked out of the room when my little guy was having a tantrum or why I leave them in their crib during "naptime," even if they're wide awake and playing in there.
Playdates also break up a long day of, "what now, guys?" With twins, it's not so fun taking them to the playground alone as they climb to death-defying heights and go down the slide on their faces. No, I much prefer going to someone else's child-proofed home or having friends come over here, where I can sit, relax, and know they're all relatively safe. There's none of that, "No, no, no, don't touch the dog poop!" hovering.
Plus, my guys are in better moods when their friends are around. What teething pain? Mama, who? I don't need that lady. Hmmm, I don't feel like smacking my brother in the head with this tractor because Little Johnny has a cool kitchen playset. They're wonderfully, blissfully distracted and I can enjoy a nice glass of iced tea ... or wine, whatever.
I know, I know, some of you more lax parents may wonder why I even bother to stick to a nap schedule if I want to get out so badly. But, I have twins and two young toddlers in cranky, meltdown mode is no picnic. It messes them up and it messes me up. Also, life with twins is chaotic enough as it is. I like having structure in our day, as well as a break just to breathe.
So until we get this nap transition thing done, I'm in this lonely, playdate limbo. Like, I start emails to mom friends with, "So what's Little Johnny's nap schedule right now?" And then follow up with some equally fascinating topic like whether or not I should put blankets in their cribs. Sigh. Yes, this is my life.
Do you think you could make it through the day without playdates?
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Comments 9
Their needs for naps change as they grow, so it's a matter of adpating schedules.
The playdate thing seems silly to me, guess because I am from a different generation, but I understand that given actual hectic schedules for EVERYONE, it's practical to set days and hours to take kids to the park or to friend's houses. I have befriended my daughter;s best friend mom and have noticed we are developing a playdate schedule but not set in stone, we both work, and am now starting to see why it is so important for so many families.
Btw, twins are no harder than toddlers close in age. I have 4 kids. Ages 9, 6, 4, and 3. The 4 &3 yr old.. yeah what do they call that? Irish twins or something? Either way, I have 4 kids, and we can hang out with friends. So if I can work around 2 homework/school schedules, 2 toddler naps, and an extra preschool schedule twice a week, then you can work around twins napping.
playdates are nice to have. I could go days without them. I like doing them once a week :)
We don't get to do many play dates b/c I have older children that drive to and from school. We have 5 total so most days they keep each other pretty entertained. Maybe your babies will change their sleep times again and you will be able to make it again!
@4mutts. Yes having twins is different than having children close in age. I have 5 kids (most about 1 1/2 years apart) and twins are totally different. They work together and are constantly into things and the bigger they get the harder it is to hold one down while you run after the other. It is nice to have play dates b/c then your children are entertained for a while without you running after them the whole time. Something I've learned over the years is that everyone has different circumstances and it's really hard to judge when you don't have the same experiences. I'm glad you get to find time to be with your friends. Maybe you can find a friend with twins and keep them for the afternoon to see how different they can be...
I agree, its nice to have other moms that are going through the same things I am to talk to.