According to MedlinePlus and many shocked, disbelieving parents, children are known to stick all sorts of crap into their nose. Food, seeds, dried beans, small toys, crayon pieces, erasers, paper wads, cotton, and beads are just a few of the things kids have rammed up their snout-holes. Once something gets stuck, it can lead to a number of unpleasant symptoms, including irritation, bleeding, infection, or even difficulty breathing -- but the medical process for removing a foreign body from the nasal cavity can be highly invasive or even frightening.

So, what's a parent to do when Junior cluelessly pushes a pea so far up his snot-locker that it seems to have gotten lodged in his brain? Based on some groundbreaking new research from British scientists, there's an easily-performed technique that's considered safe and effective for removing objects from nostrils.

Hilariously, it's called the "mother's kiss."

The mother's kiss works as follows:

• The child's mother (or "trusted caregiver") places their mouth around the child's mouth to create a seal
• Caregiver uses a finger to block the child's clear nostril (as in, the one that doesn't have a Lego stuck in it)
• Caregiver blows into the child's mouth

The idea is that the pressure from the breath will force the object out. Boy, it sounds ENORMOUSLY pleasant for all involved parties, does it not? What a wonderful name for a fun and surely well-received gesture!

Still, as awful as it must be to hold down your kid in order to try and blast a crayon out his nose, it's probably worse for a kid to endure the process of having something removed in the emergency room via hooks, forceps, or suction.

According to doctors cited in the study, this method is a safe treatment that isn't known to cause complications:

The mother's kiss appears to be a safe and effective technique for first-line treatment in the removal of a foreign body from the nasal cavity. In addition, it may prevent the need for general anesthesia in some cases.

According to another doctor, however, you shouldn't try this without medical supervision, because you could accidentally blow the object into the child's lungs.

This is rare, but could occur.

Bizarrely, that same doctor cautions that if you do attempt the procedure, you'll have to summon your courage:

The mom has to be brave. Some parents want to try it and others are scared of it.

Uh, that's because of the LUNG THING you just said, Doctor. What the hell? "Don't do this because you might kill your kid! But if you don't do it, you're a pussy."

So as with all research and medical opinions these days, it's damned if you do, damned if you don't. Personally, I think the main takeaway here with the mother's kiss technique is this: IT NEEDS A NEW NAME.

Has your kid ever got something stuck in their name? Did you try the 'mother's kiss' to get it out?


Image via gagilas/Flickr