Are YOU an overbearing parent? Of course not! No one thinks they are, and it is a pretty subjective term, but oh you know one when you see one ... unless of course you're looking in the mirror.
The other day STFU Parents posted a link to a discussion that's blowing up on Reddit. It started with a post in which the person recounted an annoying encounter he or she had with a mother, and then asked if anyone else had any stories of overbearing parents in public.
And oh boy do people have stories of overbearing parents. There are currently more than 1,300 comments, and the discussion is going strong. The definition of an overbearing parent encompasses a lot, and it definitely overlaps into the helicopter parenting realm, but it's a bit different. I think it can be boiled down to this -- you think the world revolves around you and your child, and pretty much everyone else sucks and can suck it.
The entire discussion is a fun read, but I've narrowed it down into seven takeaways that will clue you in that you just might be an overbearing parent. See if you fit the bill.
1. You yell at other people for bumping into/almost bumping into your child when you're child is running where he or she shouldn't.
2. You give death stares to anyone who dares to talk to your children in public, even when you're kids initiate the conversation.
3. You assume all men are child molesters and make that perfectly clear when encountering them anywhere.
4. You tell your kids that if they're not good, "that man" or "that woman" is going to get mad at them/take them away/otherwise harm them.
5. If your child is pulling the hair of someone in front of you on the bus, you ask the person to move their hair.
6. When strangers help your child, you thank them by calling the cops. (Examples include: saving them from choking, stopping them from walking out into traffic.)
7. If someone dares brush against your child's hand, you whip out the hand sanitizer ... and NOT discreetly.
The thing is, it's so hard NOT to be overbearing, and we're probably all guilty of some of these to some degree. But at least knowing you're a bit crazy when it comes to this crazy gig of parenting is definitely a good first step.
Are you ever overbearing in public? Any stories to add?
Image via SigNote Cloud
This Hot Dad Wants to Do Your Ironing
KStew Refuses to Shower
This Hot Dad Wants to Cook You Dinner
This Hot Dad Cooks AND Does the Dishes
Comments 38
A variation of #4 happens to me all the time. I'm a police officer and I do foot patrols around the tourist down I work in. If a child is misbehaving the parents usually point me out and say "If you aren't good that police officer is going to arrest you and take you to jail". All that does is associate punishment and fear with the police and keep kids from seeking them out in an emergency.
I am guilty of the "if you don't pipe down, that nice man is going to get angry" bit and I never realized how awful it was until I read the Reddit thread!!! Ack!!
Last summer, I was on a Norwegian Cruise out of Manhattan and there were kids EVERYWHERE. I didn't find the kids to be nearly as obnoxious as the adults who meandered everywhere with no regard for the people around them. Walking down a wide hallway one afternoon about 5 days into the cruise, a little girl of around 4-5 was doing perididdles and slammed right into my legs - she faked left and went right and I completely failed in my attempt to avoid the collision. I have two of my own, though, so such collisions are an hourly occurrence for me!! I immediately put my hands on her shoulders to make sure that she didn't fall and asked her if she was okay and she looked up at me with big, scared eyes, nodded and careened back to her mom. Her mother got up, came over to me and GAVE ME A HUGE HUG. She said, "you're the first person in five days that has been nice to that child...thank you!" I told her that I knew EXACTLY what she was talking about and I made a new friend for the remainder of the trip!
I think all 7 of these are absolutely crazy!!! And,,,,, No, normal people do NOT think your child is the cutest thing when they continue to kick the back of your seat in the buss, train, airplane, etc... We think that you are a horribkle parent whose kids are going to turn out to be spoiled, rude, out of control adults, just as they are as children.
No, not really. My rules are pretty reasonable.
Example: talking to strangers. The rule is, if you are with me *as opposed to walking home from school or something similar* feel free to talk. But give away no personal information. First names only, no address, etc. If you're not with me, politely say, "I don't talk to strangers", then call me on your cell phone & talk to me until you get home.
If my kid bumps into/almost bumps into someone, they are to say "excuse me" NICELY no matter who's "fault" it was. And they're not to run around crazy in public. Likewise, if they annoy someone, they are made to stop, and say sorry.
Germs? Pft. I would tell someone else to wash after touching my kids before I would worry about their dirty asses catching something lol
My kids are all under 9, so my rules, IMO are age approperiate, and not extreme.
They little still, almost 2 yo, but they are twins and am also pregnant so its best for me to keep them in the stroller
Some of these things more over protective/paranoid the overbearing. The main one I can't stand wasn't even listed: The parent that forces the child into a "mini me". Basically pushes the child to "enjoy" all the "great" things that Mom/Dad like and are interested in, regardless of the child's actual interest.
i can HONESTLY and PROUDLY say none of these apply to me or my daughters. i am pretty leniant with them, i do expect them to act appropriately when we are out and about AND at home. They know to say excuse me or sorry at the right time, and i am not a germaphobe, germs are EVERYWHERE and if i was to worry bout germs my kids would never be allowed to do anything or go anywhere.