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Moms Too Ashamed to Spank in Public: What Are You Hiding?
Disciplining your child is a necessary part of parenthood. The big debate, however, is how best to do that. As a mother myself, I don't plan to spank my son. Every kid is different and I don't think it's the ideal way to teach his particular personality right from wrong.
That said, I have always believed the choice is up to the parent. Some think it's the only way to keep their kids in line. Who am I to tell them differently? Though, new research may have fans of corporeal punishment rethinking whether spanking is a good idea at all.
Researchers secretly watched parents disciplining their children in public places like parks and restaurants. They found that in 23 percent of the cases, mom or dad resorted to "negative touch" (like hitting, pinching, restraining, or spanking) to get their kids to behave.
More from The Stir: Spanking Isn't the Only Form of Physical Punishment That Should Be Banned
The parents had no idea they were being watched by psychologists and researchers. Though, when parents knew they were being monitored, the way they dealt with an unruly child was completely different. "I have also seen hundreds of kids and their parents in a lab setting, and never once witnessed any of this behavior," said scientist Kathy Stansbury.
The conclusion was that pro-spankers change their behavior when they know they are under the microscope. My question is why? There are no laws against spanking (as long as you don't take things too far, of course). I know some will say they don't want to deal with the nasty looks. But if you really feel you have the right to spank and that you are doing what's best for your child, then why hold back?
There have certainly been a slew of studies suggesting that physical punishment can lead to more aggression in some kids, not to mention horrible long-term effects, like mental illness. Research also shows that "positive touch" (think hugs, pats, gentle guidance) was a more effective way to discipline. In fact, when kids are happier, they were more likely to comply. Perhaps deep down, these once die-hard fans of spanking feel that it's not the best method anymore. If you really thought it was the right thing to do, you would do it no matter where you were or who was watching, wouldn't you?
Would you spank in public? Why or why not?
Image via dsearls/Flickr
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cmjaz
amazzonia
AkashaGermaine
vlk_2012
I'm all for spanking. My brothers and myself were spanked and the good Lord knows we learned our lesson from it. That being said, I don't mind seeing a child spanked in public for a good reason. Apparently around here, the only thing you get spanked for in front of the world is crying. Moms, your kid is going to cry. Beating his/her ass in front of everyone isn't going to make it stop.
My parents didn't spank us in public unless we messed up big time, but they usually waited until we got home. I seriously doubt gentle patting, hugging (seriously?), or kind words would have solved any problems. Why don't you just give the kid some ice cream for being a little hellion?
RhondaVeggie
vamom08
keriley1
I will do it if really needed. Usually we don't need to in public tho. She is pretty good, I think spanking needs to be reserved for really bad offenses.
nikolita87
RhondaVeggie, I agree with you. But I will say this. I know some people who spank their children, and they are not afraid to do it in front of others. But the effectiveness is questionable, because in my personal experiences with these people who spank, their children are still absolute brats. So spanking does not guarantee that your child will listen or behave. My husband and I do not spank. I agree that some people might be ashamed to do it publicly, but it's kinda scary to think about what they are willing to do behind closed doors. Not everyone who spanks is an abusive person, but I do think it's easier to cross the line into abuse when you are using physical means of punishment.
hotrdumommy
Could it be that there is an anti-spanker who is ready to call 911 if they saw a parent spanking their child. The last thing a parent who is trying to parent their child needs is a visit from the cops or CPS. Just saying. I will pop my daughter if she cuts up and other non-physical forms of discipline do not work. And I have spanked her in public for running from me in a parking lot where a car was coming.
vamom08