Disciplining your child is a necessary part of parenthood. The big debate, however, is how best to do that. As a mother myself, I don't plan to spank my son. Every kid is different and I don't think it's the ideal way to teach his particular personality right from wrong.
That said, I have always believed the choice is up to the parent. Some think it's the only way to keep their kids in line. Who am I to tell them differently? Though, new research may have fans of corporeal punishment rethinking whether spanking is a good idea at all.
Researchers secretly watched parents disciplining their children in public places like parks and restaurants. They found that in 23 percent of the cases, mom or dad resorted to "negative touch" (like hitting, pinching, restraining, or spanking) to get their kids to behave.
More from The Stir: Spanking Isn't the Only Form of Physical Punishment That Should Be Banned
The parents had no idea they were being watched by psychologists and researchers. Though, when parents knew they were being monitored, the way they dealt with an unruly child was completely different. "I have also seen hundreds of kids and their parents in a lab setting, and never once witnessed any of this behavior," said scientist Kathy Stansbury.
The conclusion was that pro-spankers change their behavior when they know they are under the microscope. My question is why? There are no laws against spanking (as long as you don't take things too far, of course). I know some will say they don't want to deal with the nasty looks. But if you really feel you have the right to spank and that you are doing what's best for your child, then why hold back?
There have certainly been a slew of studies suggesting that physical punishment can lead to more aggression in some kids, not to mention horrible long-term effects, like mental illness. Research also shows that "positive touch" (think hugs, pats, gentle guidance) was a more effective way to discipline. In fact, when kids are happier, they were more likely to comply. Perhaps deep down, these once die-hard fans of spanking feel that it's not the best method anymore. If you really thought it was the right thing to do, you would do it no matter where you were or who was watching, wouldn't you?
Would you spank in public? Why or why not?
Image via dsearls/Flickr
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Comments 106
I think spanking should be used sparingly for punishment. There are parents that have serious anger issues that spank. Like in the link "Long term side effects" the audio had a mother who was reading to her small child and he was trying to turn the pages and she cusses at him twice"F*ck, stop f**king touching the pages" and then smacks him. THOSE kind of people are the people that need to have their children taken. Because TRUST ME, it is MUCH WORSE when noones around.
I dont spank period..
PREVENTION IS ALWAYS BEST! Talking with your child about what behavior is appropriate & what behavior is not, in every situation before you get to it, is the best way to handle things, especially if you clearly state what the consequences will be. "________ I know it's easy to get excited at the park, but if you scream in excitement others may think you are hurt & we do not want to cause a panic. Also if you scream, others may join in with you, then the entire park will be filled with screaming children, so please do not scream at the park. Please tell mommy when you plan to go somewhere, and make sure mommy can see your eyes at all times. If you can't see me, I can't see you! If another kid hits, pinches, bites or screams at you or if your feelings get hurt, please come talk to mommy about it. If I tell you to come to me, you must listen right away. Stay away from grown-ups unless mommy is holding your hand. Most of all..I hope you HAVE FUN! Once I notice you are not having fun anymore then we will leave to go do something else that's fun ok? Now please repeat to mommy what was said."
Parents don't spank in public in fear of an out lash against anti-spanking parents. I personally don't spank, never have never will. I am very much against spanking. But I don't think parents who spank "think spanking is wrong" , it's the same way anyone would change their behavior around psychologists. People are naturally afraid of being analyzed by professionals. They feel that a psychologists would pick apart all they say and do to come back and say by doing something or not doing something they are raising some sociopath that will torture animals and mass murder people all because of them. That is really what parents are afraid of whether they spank or not. Psychologists have to realize this or they are pretty sucky at being a psychologist.
I don't spank, but if you do be consistent.
but to answer a question, no I would not call the cops on spanker's. I would just feel sorry for the child. I still fear my dad for what he did to me I will never instill that fear in my child EVER!
I spank my son. It works and he listens and responds to it sometimes. but no not always. But as far as not spanking in public most poeple stop because to often people have actually called CPS or involved athorities assuming a child is abused and not just disciplined. it happend to my own mom and her friend once.