Disciplining your child is a necessary part of parenthood. The big debate, however, is how best to do that. As a mother myself, I don't plan to spank my son. Every kid is different and I don't think it's the ideal way to teach his particular personality right from wrong.
That said, I have always believed the choice is up to the parent. Some think it's the only way to keep their kids in line. Who am I to tell them differently? Though, new research may have fans of corporeal punishment rethinking whether spanking is a good idea at all.
Researchers secretly watched parents disciplining their children in public places like parks and restaurants. They found that in 23 percent of the cases, mom or dad resorted to "negative touch" (like hitting, pinching, restraining, or spanking) to get their kids to behave.
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The parents had no idea they were being watched by psychologists and researchers. Though, when parents knew they were being monitored, the way they dealt with an unruly child was completely different. "I have also seen hundreds of kids and their parents in a lab setting, and never once witnessed any of this behavior," said scientist Kathy Stansbury.
The conclusion was that pro-spankers change their behavior when they know they are under the microscope. My question is why? There are no laws against spanking (as long as you don't take things too far, of course). I know some will say they don't want to deal with the nasty looks. But if you really feel you have the right to spank and that you are doing what's best for your child, then why hold back?
There have certainly been a slew of studies suggesting that physical punishment can lead to more aggression in some kids, not to mention horrible long-term effects, like mental illness. Research also shows that "positive touch" (think hugs, pats, gentle guidance) was a more effective way to discipline. In fact, when kids are happier, they were more likely to comply. Perhaps deep down, these once die-hard fans of spanking feel that it's not the best method anymore. If you really thought it was the right thing to do, you would do it no matter where you were or who was watching, wouldn't you?
Would you spank in public? Why or why not?
Image via dsearls/Flickr
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Comments 106
Your extremely rude rush to judgement is astounding. Heaven forbid other people see things differently from you, lest you condemn them to the "truly psychotic" realm of parenting. A calm and controlled palm to the rear is in no way akin to an "attack.". Do us all a favor and think before you speak.
You know why people don't spank in public? Because those AGAINST spanking are going to judge them and they're going to get nasty looks and sometimes snide comments for a PARENTING CHOICE.
And yes, I will spank in public, because I don't care. I also don't care about what that research says spanking can lead to. Because spanking ALONE does not cause those things and it's ignorant to think it does.
Buffymom9, it's not violent. I don't feel anger or violence when I pop my daughter on the butt. Sometimes I feel frustration, but NEVER anger or violence. If my daughter is told repeatedly, "No, sit down" when she's in a shopping cart and she continues to try to stand, I will spank her, because a) she is not listening and that is an effective method for her and b) I need her to listen because it is dangerous.
For the record, I have a Master's degree and have studied a host of different children, behavior problems, consequences and outcomes. I have witnessed far too many instances of passive discipline and ultimately, the child wins.