I have a mommy friend who doesn't believe in sugar-coating anything with her kids. Before they hit kindergarten, they were up on every single danger that lurked beyond their front door. And mythical, make-believe icons like the Tooth Fairy -- forget about it. When they lose a tooth, they have the option to save it or drop it down the drain. Her take: kids need to be prepared for the real world. Why delay it with silly fantasies.
I'll admit, her philosophy will save her from the inevitable breakdown that happens when children finally realizes there is no Santa. But I'd rather my little ones live in ignorant bliss for as along as they can. I'm not saying fib about everything -- just a few very specific things.
Here are 5 lies parents should tell you kid:
- Santa DOES exist. Every kid should believe St. Nick, the Tooth Fairy, Easter Bunny, and every other wonderful, magical creature that does nice things for them is real. Soon enough they'll be smacked with the fact that very few people do anything nice for free.
- It doesn't matter if you win or lose. This is about teamwork and good sportsmanship. Of course it's bull crap but they don't need to know that until after high school. As adults, it's all about winning -- winning that promotion, winning that eBay auction, and so on.
- There are no such things as monsters. Fact of the matter is, they do exist. They are just of the Jerry Sandusky variety rather than Freddy Krueger.
- Honesty is the best policity. Oh the irony. While this old adage is true, we grown-ups know it's not possible to be truthful all the time. Kids shouldn't lie but we have to. Are you really going to tell your boss he's incompetent or a party host that her dinner was disgusting?
- Love is more important than money. Well, love doesn't pay the rent and you definitely can't eat it. So while love should be more important than money, the almighty dollar is just as key to survival. But kids don't need to know that until college!
More from The Stir: 33 Ridiculous Lies Kids Believe Are True
Do you believe in telling kids little white lies? What fibs have you told your child?
Images via Orin Zebest/Flickr
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Comments 49
It does matter whether you win or lose. It's just not the end of the world if you lose. When we play games or go bowling there is a winner. We've even been known to make wagers, loser needs to get up and get Popsicles for everyone after the game or winner gets to pick a movie to watch that evening. Kids are not going to turn in to cut throat competitors because you have a winner at the end of the game but they are going to learn that their effort doesn't matter if everyone gets the same reward.
Sorry but some fat guy in red coat does NOT get credit for the gifts I chose to give my child in celebration. When she asked why santa doesn't visit I simply said that "santa" was a man who gave gifts to children in his city and it started a tradition, people give gifts in his name as a history lesson. We talk about the true meaning behind each of the fantasitical creatures.
Of course it does not matter if you win or lose, all that matters is that you give your best effort. If you win that is great and you won because you tried and partially because of luck, if you lose, you need to try harder and understand that sometimes there are people who are better at things than you are.
Yes there are monsters, not the fairytale kind but people who are evil and that is why you trust no one unless they have proven to be trust worthy, trust your gut, if it says that person is off, then they probably are.
Honesty is the best policy, don't do things you'll have to lie about and there won't be a reason to lie. Take responsibility for your actions or don't act.
Love is important, so is money. Find the balance.
Let them have their imagination, but don't lie about it.
Love is important, but money pays the bills, food, and housing (not to mention other important stuff). Money is important whether you like to believe it or not, but it's not how much money you make more so it's how good you are with making it stretch and saving. To teach a child to be humble and loving is the most important and to not take what they have (even if it is little things) for granted because life could always be worse.
In my house honestly is the best policy. I dont lie to my kids. If you are smart enough to ask a question, you are smart enough to handle the answer (of course sometimes put in kid-friendly terms). We do the whole Santa, tooth-fairy, east bunny thing but my kids do not, and have never, believed they were real. Its for fun.
I am truthful all of the time. I have no reasons to lie to anyone and I trust the people around me enough to know that they're not going to hold it against me if I have to tell them something that's hard to hear. And no one has any right to tell me that I would be a better parent if I lied to my children, or that they would be happier.
How are #2, #4, & #5 lies?
Winning or loosing... Winning is obviously good, but so is loosing. Loosing builds patience, endurance, and the chance to better themselves. It is not fun but when done right... sometimes loosing is more beneficial.
Honesty is the best policy... It is. Unless you want Aunt Gertrude making her (in)famous zucchini casserole every time you drop by. There are nice ways to be honest about it. Car salesman will tell you what you want to hear, but real friends have the guts to tell you what you don't.
Love is more important than money... Ok it is a sad sad day when we as humans think this to be a lie. I see where the writer is coming from... The twisted thing we call 'love' these days doesn't pay the bills for our expensive lifestyles. But love makes life worth surviving and there are more ways to survive than money. Good lordy... how did our ancestors do it!? Oh right... they survived by farming, and working hard for the ones they loved.
As for Santa, I tell the story of St. Nicholos from whom the story originated. He was a very inspirational man. Kids need roll models over fairy dust. And Monsters... Stay close to mommy and daddy. We believe in our second amendment rights.
*role models... not roll models.
Childhood is so short, a few classic lies don't bother me. When my kids finally get the truth about Santa, they'll be ready to hear that he is more a "spirit of giving" than a person. So Santa exists in your heart little one.
All information must be weighed out by the parent. Still, a little magic for a few short years is part of childhood. They grow up so darn fast, why push so hard?
Allowing United prayer would be the most helpful and let them c some reality with guides of fibbing..