So there's a new study out linking spanking to mental disorders. "Individuals who are physically punished have an increased likelihood of having mental health disorders," say the researchers. "NO SHIT," seyz I. And I should know. I have loads of experience in getting spanked. Years of it. I have a Ph.D. in Advanced Ass-Whuppings.
Now, despite what my friends will tell you I don't actually have a mental disorder. But I remember the trauma of those Mommy Dearest-style spankings. My siblings and I STILL talk about them. Sometimes we joke -- but there's a reason my sister refuses to keep a wooden spoon in her kitchen. And it's not because she doesn't like to cook.
I can make excuses for my mom. She was overwhelmed with so many little kids. She was always pregnant (she had several miscarriages). Spanking was just what Mexican-American families did when she was growing up. And she's a perfectionist who held tightly to an ideal of what an upright, American family home should look like. No wonder she was always losing it!
More from The Stir: Spanking Your Kids Out of Love Is Not Abuse
Because of spanking, I grew up to be a tense, nervous person person who was always afraid of making mistakes -- and you know what happens when you're afraid of making mistakes? You make a lot of mistakes. And then there was the randomness of physical punishment as I experienced it. We just never knew what kind of mood Mom was in, and that can end up making you feel a lot less secure in your home and in your attachments to your parents and eventually other people in your life. It's taken me years to get over that. What an awesome legacy -- thanks, spanking!
So maybe I don't have a drinking problem. Maybe I don't need Zoloft to get through the day. But as long as I can remember how spanking made me feel I'll never, ever spank my own son. And drawing the line between "appropriate" spanking and whackadoodle spanking just seems like bullshit hair splitting to me. Everyone who defends spanking claims they do it the "right" way -- but apparently an awful lot of spanking parents are causing some harm anyway.
If spanking were a pharmaceutical it would come with a big ol' warning. Here's a handy list of disorders spanking puts your kids at higher risk for:
- Depression
- Mania
- Anxiety
- Alcohol abuse or dependence
- Drug abuse or dependence
Think of it this way: Spare the rod, spare the expensive therapy sessions later on.
What do you think of this newly-revealed link between mental disorders and spanking?
Image via anathea/Flickr
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Comments 99
My kids are spanked only for certain infractions, always open handed, on the butt, and only 3 swats for the infraction.
I have not spanked my 9 year old son in a year now.
I used spanking in a controlled, non angry state, and in a consistant manner.
My children respect me, and respect the rules. They are not afraid of me, or my moods. The aren't afraid of screwing up.
That's the difference. SPANKING doesn't cause emotional problems. ABUSE does.
My form of dicipline is legal in the state of California. The kind you're talking about, is illegal.
Seems like much more than "splitting hairs" to me.
I agree with 4mutts. There is a world of difference between a swat on the butt and beating your children with a wooden spoon of a belt. If you are using a tool other than your hand that is going beyond "spanking" and that is not OK. Also, if it is an instant reaction to any type of offense, that is not right either. Your first reaction should not be to hit your kids. I grew up in a spanking house too but I did not walk on eggshells and I was never afraid of my parents. I was spanked maybe three times in my life, for the VERY WORST infractions on the rules. Other times, the threat of a spanking was enough to keep me in line. I turned out fine.
Its funny, I gave my 5yr old daughter the choice once, for calling her 4yr old sister a fat bitch *she heard it at the park* she got to choose, lose her favorite blanket for a week, or get 3 swats.
She chose the swats! It was crazy. I almost didn't give them to her, because it caught me off guard.
Guess I don't spank very hard if my kids would rather get swatted than lose 1 of 50million blankeys haha
Anyway, yeah I was spanked and I turned out fine, not perfect, could write a book about my faults, but certainly not bad. I have my share of baggage, but none of it can be traced to my being spanked. Of course I hated it, but looking back, they were deserved, my parents often gave me several chances, telling me I was doing wrong, shouting at me, but I insisted on acting my way, so it would have been really easy for me to avoid getting hit. My younger brother was more obedient, but I was a wild child. As I got into my teens though, my parents took away privileges rather than use corporal punishement, which is what I do with my teen stepdaughter. She's kind of a wild child, but threaten to take away her games, she becomes an angel lol.
I remember a house nearby where the kids never got spanked. We kinda envied them at the time, run around free, do what you want, their parents would only give them timeouts or other easy punishments. Found out both kids ended up with problems with the law. The oldest recently got his life turned around, but the other one still has run-ins with the law.
Here we go, always such a hot topic... I am firmly in the anti-spank camp, and always will be. I beg to differ that if you are only using your hand it is still ok. You can cause plenty of physical (not to mention mental) damage with a hand. I do understand that there are parents who can manage to control their anger, use spanking as a tool and not have it cross into the lines of abuse (in their minds) - but to me, why would you ever want to use ANY means of physical violence to TEACH your children anything? It is a complete oxymoron to me. There is no situation (not a one) in the "real" world, where, as an adult, if you have a problem with something, is it acceptable for you to hit anyone at anytime with anything - not with a hand, not in controlled manner, not as a communication tool. It is illegal. (Not that I'm putting so much stock in the law as final word, just saying that simply because a state defines hitting a kid as acceptable does not make it logical.)
So what the heck are you really teaching your children? Certainly not anything that will convey in their adult lives - save for maybe the fact that's it's acceptable for them to hit their own children someday when they can't come up with a better way to communicate. Last - sorry, but there is no way to know that your children don't actually fear you or in some fashion walk on eggshells to avoid repeat spankings. If you got spanked as a kid and it didn't affect you, good for you, but every kid is different and there are not necessarily outward signs that you're creating a bad dynamic with your child due to spanking. You won't know that until they're adults - and even then, maybe not, as you're not really creating a very open relationship by choosing to hit them over *communicating* with them, eh?