I read somewhere once that we are all the best parents in the world ... before we have kids. All the things we said we would never, ever do when we became parents were said with such ease as if parenting was a simple thing. Oh what little we knew then! Once you become a parent, your eyes are opened wide ... with a can opener and sometimes it even feels like they are popping out of your head. Things you said you would never do are sometimes done. And that's because never is just a bad, bad word in this case.
Still, even the parents who do the things on that mythical "never do" list can be the best parents in the world. Oh yes we can! We do what we have to do, we make things work how they should work for our family, and that's the reality. Before I had kids I swore I would never do a lot of things. Here's my confessional. Maybe you can relate.
I swore I would never ...
... let them watch TV or be kids who requested different shows. They watch it. They love it. They ask for Peppa and Diego and Elmo. They don't watch it all the time. But they watch.
... feed them anything that was frozen like chicken nuggets or fish sticks or mini pizzas. Sometimes convenience wins.
... let them be the boss of me. Sometimes they are. And I think that's okay. Not to the point where it's out of control, but there are times where I cave and let them have their way ... within reason.
... buy them the ridiculous toy they don't need but decide they have to have in the store.
... use bribery to get them to do something.
... put my child on a leash. I tried it twice. It wasn't for us, but I understand how it works to keep kids safe.
... let my kids act like THAT ... when seeing a child have a meltdown. Of course this was before I had kids and was enlightened to the fact that THAT just happens sometimes.
... co-sleep. Now I love snuggling with my babies.
... wear flats. I'm a heels wearing girl. But I just can't do it all the time at the playground. Most of the time I'm in sensible wedges, but I do own some flats much to the horror of my former self.
... change. For some reason I thought change was bad. I know now that's it's not. I've changed in some of the most amazing ways possible and I owe a lot of it to motherhood.
Any of these sound familiar? Have any to add?
Image via khrawlings/Flickr
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Comments 37
Sometimes.
I swore to:
Never use a soother. Now I see that was ridiculous they are extremly helpful and my son weaned him self off it, one day when he was 14 months or so he just stopped using it.
Not co-sleep. Co-Sleeping actully saved me from PTSD, and I still co-sleep today with my 26 month old because we both get the best sleep.
Never, ever use formula or bottle feed. I am still breastfeeding my 26 month old and I wish he would have let me supplement him and take a bottle. I haven't had a night out since he was born and I would have loved to be able to go to a movie with a friend or anything that gave me some me time.
Not use a leash. Now I have only used one a handful of times and in my defence my MIL bought it not me, however I really like the safety it provides while walking near busy roads. I live right by a highway so all the surrounding roads are crazy busy and I am terrfied of going for walks with my son because of that, and the leash helps him feel independent and I don't have to threaten to duct tape his hand to mine when he stops wanting to hold hands lol.
I love co-sleeping, I hate how people who have never done it judge it. I swore I would never do a lot of things, including spank, but i realized some kids don't learn from anything else. We have not changed our no spank rule, but we have decided to when DD does something that is dangerous to her health.
I also swore I wouldn't take my kid somewhere while she was crying, I remember being pregnant and STUPID and seeing some mom pushing a crying baby and not doing anything to stop or fix it and i said to my DH "Omg i am never going to be like that! do something about that! don't just let your baby cry, annoying the whole store! it just needs something" I was niave and thought babies were angels unless they needed something.
You live and learn.
I swore I would never own a van. Once I had one when my SUV broke down I loved it and bought one. Now I have a small car though because gas is to expensive but there are many days I missed my god awful - wonderful mommy mobile.
I said I would NEVER let my kids eat in the car....well, they eat in the car..
I swore I would never let my house be less than spotless! I would see other people's homes when they had young children and secretely criticize their housekeeping. I am so sorry now I did that! Now I see that those Mother's were like me now, trying really hard but probably exhausted and overwhelmed. It's just really difficult because kids are messy!
Nothing mentioned in this article was an issue for me with two huge exceptions. I would NEVER let my kids act like THAT or be the boss of me because I was going to be a good parent. Of course I had a humble awakening real fast!