It would be great if the only words we ever heard about our parenting were laced with positivity, support, and good wishes. Unfortunately, that's not always the case as friends, family members, and even complete strangers come out of nowhere with advice/criticism about every move we make ... or don't make.
It can be irritating and even infuriating, but the extent to which we let it bother us is unfortunate too. We teach our kids sticks and stones, but many of us let words hurt us way more than we should. According to a new study from Pull-Ups, as many as one in three moms has had a falling out with someone because of unwarranted advice; one in four moms has cut people out of their lives because of it. That seems pretty extreme.
People can be rude, plain and simple, and we as parents really need to just practice getting over it. Sure, it stings to have anyone put doubt in our minds about what we're doing -- especially when we have plenty of doubts ourselves -- but it's only hurting us to get that upset about rude comments. And we really can't cut the entire world out.
Here are the top 10 comments that offend moms, as outlined by the Daily Mail.
1. "Aren't they tall/short?"
2. "When my child was that age, he/she was already walking, talking, etc."
3. "Your child is very boisterous."
4. "They should be talking more by now."
5. "They should be sleeping through the night by now."
6. "You shouldn't give them a dummy [pacifier]."
7. "They don't eat very well, do they?"
8. "They should be walking by now."
9. "They should be crawling by now."
10. "They should have given up their dummy by now."
There are all kinds of flip responses and ways you can bite back at people who make such comments, but is it really worth your time and energy? People make comments for so many reasons -- many I believe truly are trying to help -- but I think the majority of them simply just don't think before they speak.
There may be some cases in which someone maliciously verbally attacks you repeatedly, and in those cases, cutting them out of your life is obviously justifiable. But for the most part, we should just nod and smile, and then do what we think is right. We need to realize that no matter what anyone says, we know our children best, and no one's words can change that.
What parenting "advice" and comments from others bother you the most? Have you ever ended a relationship because of it?
Image via sovgunga/Flickr
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Comments 78
I just ignored it, or if it was being said just to get a reaction, I would say " here, take a tissue, she has a big green booger peaking out of her nose", haha.
Ashley I guess I must been the most lazy parent in the world because oh gosh my son used a pacy until he was 2 1/2. I must sit around all day and so completely dumb not to take it from him. Do not judge others just because you do things different. I learned that things are not always what it seems. it may be a 6 year old doing something that you consider he's to old for but we don't know the circumstances. Grow up.
Nobody said any of these to me because my kids are tall (which is a good thing) and great eaters who didn't use a pacifier and did everything early. Sucks for you other moms!
After ours got big, the only comment that seemed safe for myself and my wife was a smiling "I remember when ours were that age!" You wouldn't believe the smiles we got back!
I had a random woman in the grocery store tell my 6 month old son that it didn't look like we were feeding him anything. I was more shocked than anything. I bumbled some response that he is mainly breastfed with a little formula and solid food mixed in. I didn't really take it to heart since the doctor says he is growing just fine. He isn't skinny, but he isn't fat either.