It would be great if the only words we ever heard about our parenting were laced with positivity, support, and good wishes. Unfortunately, that's not always the case as friends, family members, and even complete strangers come out of nowhere with advice/criticism about every move we make ... or don't make.
It can be irritating and even infuriating, but the extent to which we let it bother us is unfortunate too. We teach our kids sticks and stones, but many of us let words hurt us way more than we should. According to a new study from Pull-Ups, as many as one in three moms has had a falling out with someone because of unwarranted advice; one in four moms has cut people out of their lives because of it. That seems pretty extreme.
People can be rude, plain and simple, and we as parents really need to just practice getting over it. Sure, it stings to have anyone put doubt in our minds about what we're doing -- especially when we have plenty of doubts ourselves -- but it's only hurting us to get that upset about rude comments. And we really can't cut the entire world out.
Here are the top 10 comments that offend moms, as outlined by the Daily Mail.
1. "Aren't they tall/short?"
2. "When my child was that age, he/she was already walking, talking, etc."
3. "Your child is very boisterous."
4. "They should be talking more by now."
5. "They should be sleeping through the night by now."
6. "You shouldn't give them a dummy [pacifier]."
7. "They don't eat very well, do they?"
8. "They should be walking by now."
9. "They should be crawling by now."
10. "They should have given up their dummy by now."
There are all kinds of flip responses and ways you can bite back at people who make such comments, but is it really worth your time and energy? People make comments for so many reasons -- many I believe truly are trying to help -- but I think the majority of them simply just don't think before they speak.
There may be some cases in which someone maliciously verbally attacks you repeatedly, and in those cases, cutting them out of your life is obviously justifiable. But for the most part, we should just nod and smile, and then do what we think is right. We need to realize that no matter what anyone says, we know our children best, and no one's words can change that.
What parenting "advice" and comments from others bother you the most? Have you ever ended a relationship because of it?
Image via sovgunga/Flickr
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Comments 78
I think you do need to cut out people out of your life over offensive comments. I admit I'm extremely overly sensitive I'm the type that the wrong comment sends me into tears its something i can't help but when people say things about me I take it as much as it hurts but I draw a line when it comes to my kids. We've cut out most of my husbands family because of comments and as much as I hated doing it being around them made us feel worse. My kids and I have been called white trailer trash from my sister in law who just so happens to be a stripper. We've been uninvited to events because his family doesn't like the fact our youngest is a little hyper especially around other kids and the comments from them can push anyone over the edge. There is just much negativity you should be exposed and when an environment feels so poisonous you need to get away from it especially when you have kids they might not understand but they can tell from the vibes from other people that something is not right.
I don't get why people are upset when others comment on their hight. unless it's caused by and obvious disability and the other person is being insensitive.
When my kids were infants my grandmother would tell me not to pick them up too much or I'd "spoil" them. I hated this. She also made it a point to mention that my cousins mothering skills were better than mine because her kids were on a schedule. Whatever.
I have 2 I hate the most... "Don't you feed your kids?" and "Do they have clothes that fit?" All 3 of my kids are tall, super skinny, and eat more than a grown man. They are all happy and healthy. They don't eat tons of junk food, they love fruit and veggies, are active, They can't help it if they are always wanting snacks while they play, and if their pants are either too short or too loose.