Much like death and taxes, mean girls are a fact of life. Still, I was shocked to learn that even toddlers aren't immune to the torture.
While having coffee with another mom from my son's pre-school class, I learned that her daughter had already been ganged up on by other girls in the group. At 3 years old, I wondered how bad could it be? They don't want to share crayons or play tag with her at gym? The answer was infinitely worse.
She was told that she wasn't pretty and that they didn't like her. Ouch! I couldn't believe at age 3, these girls already knew how to hit where it hurts.
I thought surely these kids, barely out of diapers, were picking up bad habits from older siblings? They had none. Then I wondered if their moms were a bit on the bitchy side? Nope, all pretty cool, from what I could see. That left me with one conclusion. Perhaps we are wired to be wicked. We must come out of the birth canal that way.
That is the only way to explain why the Yo Gabba Gabba! set are so brutal these days. There is even a study that suggests that female toddlers use manipulation and peer pressure to get what they want. That's certainly something women do well into adulthood.
To be fair, boys come with their own cruel quirks. Not having an obsession with Thomas the Train can earn you odd looks from my little guy. And over time, I've noticed the girls changing up the hit list, as former victims become besties. Still, it's likely going to happen to your little princess at one time or another.
So what's a mom to do? There's no way to escape it, so I say toughen up your tykes. Basically, as soon as girls can cruise, teach them to stand their ground and defend themselves no matter what is thrown at them. It may be their best chance of coping with what is likely to be a lifetime of cattiness.
What do you think? Are we born to be mean to each other?
Image via mikebaird/Flickr


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Comments 29
Maybe they could also be picking things up from tv as well. I remember watching some Nick programs with my sister and noticing how these tweens were so rude to each other and adults. Yet I know some young children who watch this stuff or even worse. Jersey Shore! UGH!! All I know is that my 4 year old is the biggest kid in class and also the tells the teacher when something happens all the time. LOL.
Dreabug - HUGELY agree!
my lil girl has already been bullied at her preschool however i can say the school is very good at nipping it in the butt fairly quick, but i i was told one day when i came to pick Mine up she has gotten in a fight, im going uh oh i was prepared for bruises bumps and crying, but apparently i tought her well and she stood her ground and according to the teacher "definatly know how to defend herself". btw the bullying had happened more than once, at least 4 that i know of and i guess she got sick of it. Ive always told her you better not start any fights but you damn well better finish them. And the bullying in our situation started from somehting so rediciouls...becuase my daughter doesnt have her ears peirced...
Yes they can learn how to act from other kids but its the parents job to nip it in the bud before it gets out of hand where they are ganging up on each other like teenagers... crazy.. one reason i want to homeschool cause if anyone hurts my child.. i am scared of how i just might react to it...
I think it has some to do with personality and also enviroment. My 4 year old daughter has a mean streak but I try really hard to curb her attitude and steer her in the right direction. I also have 4 sons who all have thier own unique personalities.
Um... I was under the impression that most kids are manipulatitive...
That is precisely why I just walk away or cease responding to women who tell me that my 2 year old wasn't trying to manipulate me at times.
I posted on CafeMom about a particular issue and one woman told me that at her (my daughter's) age, she was not capable of manipulation. I did not take the time to respond.
We just have to teach our children as best we can to be good human beings and treat others with love and kindness (but also to stand up for themselves.) :-)