Some parents see spanking as something they would never do; others feel it's a good form of discipline. I do believe in disciplining a child, but I do not believe in spanking, which is why I want to shine light on today. It's SpankOut Day, which started in 1998 to end corporal punishment of children and give them more rights. We don't spank adults when they throw a tantrum, do we?
It's encouraged that all parents and caregivers refrain from hitting children today and instead practice a more peaceful form of discipline. They, and I, believe you can raise good kids without hitting.
There are no positive, long term effects that come from spanking. In fact, kids who were spanked often grow up to be more aggressive than kids who were not.
Spanking a child doesn't always work. It could just lead to more spanking and more frustration by the parents. The cycle of anger and hurt can stop. And it can stop today. If parents who do spank could take one day and eliminate it from their discipline strategy, maybe it can open them up to some positive ways of dealing with a child who needs to be reprimanded. And maybe, just maybe those ways would have better results. Happier kids. Happier parents. Happier family. Better lives.
There are calmer ways to dealing with a child who is acting out -- The Attached Family shares a great proactive approach -- making sure you have a happy home, being a good listener, teaching your child to be calm and understand their emotions. We should also limit over-stimulation. They also suggest ways to react to different behaviors. Showing empathy, setting rules, and staying calm are all parts of their strategy. We should avoid arguing with our kids and teach them how to handle "no" as well as ways that they can express their anger. Teaching them these skills could also help them if they ever are bullied, and also help prevent them from bullying others.
Positive Parents offers great spanking alternatives, which includes "time-in" time, which means removing your child from situation and sitting with her quietly until she is calm. They also suggest problem solving with your child -- involving them and talking to them about why their behavior is wrong and better ways to cope in different situations.
The resources are out there. Just one day. I think it's worth it for everyone to try.
What do you think of SpankOut Day? If you spank your kids, will you stop for today?
Image via leah.jones/Flickr
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Comments 60
whatever, nothing stops my 2 1/2 year old quicker in her tracks than the phrase "you wanna smack?" Sorry but "do you want a time out" barely registers in a toddlers mind when they are running full tilt toward the street! I have never "spanked" her but she has gotten a swat on the behind that was, until 2 weeks ago, nicely cushioned by a diaper.
I am positive I never received an actual spanking from my parents but the THREAT of one was always quite useful and usually enough to keep me in line until I was older and other methods like losing priveledges were applied.
No. Engaging in idiotic one day gimmicks is no way to raise children.
I think it is worth a try for every parent. Not spanking, imo, takes a LOT more work. But ultimately, I don't want to just change the behavior, I want to change my child's thinking about that behavior. Spanking them will often get the behavior you want, but it doesn't address what they think about that action. Know what I mean?
We try to come up with things that address the behavior and gets them to think differently about it. That's tough! But more effective in the long run.
I'm sorry....but how a parent disciplines is their business. I personally don't agree with "peaceful parenting". I think there are some children who need a good swat on the butt. But I find it insanely hypocritical for parents who practice peaceful parenting to push their methods and beliefs on parents who don't. You don't want your methods judged, then don't judge other methods. You don't want other methods pushed on you, then don't push yours on others.
Also, and this is completely my opinion and experience only, but every child I have come across that is raised in a peaceful parenting home is a brat. Plain and simple. Like my neighbor for example. He picked up his daughter when it was time to leave my daughter's party. She didn't feel like leaving, so she smacked him across the face! Sorry, but if that is the results of a peaceful parenting home, I'll stick to the "old fashioned' way. I was spanked and I never as a child would have even considered laying a hand on my mom, let alone smack her across the face.