Working Moms Get Mom Guilt Too (VIDEO)

Politics at Play 21

There's a lot of talk right now about the Mommy Wars...but most of us know we have plenty in common with the "other" kind of moms whether they go to an office or stay home (or work from an office at home). One thing we've all got wayyyy too much of?

Mom guilt.

Piles of it, no matter whether we work or stay home. 

Lots of that comes from other moms (sometimes even our own). People say things like "I just couldn't be gone all day" or "Isn't it hard to send her to daycare?" not even thinking how that might be heard by the person they are saying it to. And of course on the other side there's a lot of "when are you going back to work, already?" or "Don't you worry about destroying your career in this economy?"

One thing I am trying really hard to do is assume the best of other moms....if they work, assume they have reasons that are absolutely valid, and assume the same thing if they stay home.

As Jaime explains in this video about mom guilt, she works because she wants her young daughter to understand she can be anything when she grows up, whether that's a SAHM or a business person or the President of the United States.

 


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How do you deal with mom guilt?

cafemom studios, working moms, child care, moms matter

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jalaz77 jalaz77

I have ZERO guilt. I work 12hr shifts 3/week. I have one in K and one in preschool and an almost 2 yr old that stays home with me on my days off. This summer will be great when the older two are out of school but it's nice to go to work and get a little break from my kiddos. I love my job, I got an education and had every intention of using it and planning on furthering my education real soon. I feel more refreshed with my kids after I have been away during work. It depends on how you are raised too. My mom was raised to be independent with a supportive husband, she got that, my dad is awesome and supported her through anything she wanted/needed and she did the same for him. We are raising our children the same. You do what is best for your family which includes what is best for mom and dad, you have to BE happy to raise happy secure children.



I am waiting for a certain 'vegetable' to post something nasty about working moms on this post. Sorry to stir this post up with my last comment.

Shrew2u Shrew2u

I'm trying to figure out what I should be feeling guilty about. I work because I enjoy working. I have a job that I love and allows me a large degree of flexibility with my schedule. My toddlers attend an excellent school that they love. I'm able to pay for my eldest to attend college, so all she needs to worry about is maintaining her GPA. Meanwhile, I have the time and resources to pursue things that interest me. My life is balanced, so I wake up feeling good and go to sleep in peace. I think if more women ignored the judgment out there and simply worked to achieve balance (whatever that looks like for each women, not some ideal foisted upon them by others), the whole topic of "guilt" would no longer be relevant.

Rhond... RhondaVeggie

I have no guilt because I know I'm doing the best thing for my family. If you have guilt then you need to look at the reasons for that and take steps to fix it. The first thing is being honest with yourself. If you are saying you are not guilty and then listing the things you do to make yourself feel better about your decision then you are contradicting yourself. I know working mothers who argue that daycare can teach their kids better than they can because they feel guilty and moms who say that they're not "just a mom" because they take classes a couple of evenings a week.



Enough with the justification and excuses already. If you choose to stay home and raise your family then own that decision. If you choose to pay someone to do the bulk of the child rearing then own that decision. If you're making the right decision then you will not feel guilty and you will not be making excuses for your actions.

butte... butterflyfreak

Yeah, I don't get the whole mom guilt thing, either. Why should I feel guilty because I'm doing what works best for my family? Oh, that's right, because we're supposed to care what other people think! Well, screw that! You got a problem with the way I'm raising my kid, that would be YOUR problem, NOT mine!

nonmember avatar Mandarinaduck

Wow you only get three months of Mat. Leave and that's considered " unheard of"? Sorry

mompam mompam

I had tons of working mom guilt. I spoiled them a little because of it, and I tried to make every moment at home count by not necessarily keeping a very clean house. Now I'm not working and I feel so much better, I make class trips and performances, and now finally I can give myself a little break. I always imagined that every single mother was there but me, but now I see first hand that only a handful of moms attend these things. I shouldn't have been so hard on myself.

MsRkg MsRkg

I have no guilt whatsoever. I work and it makes me happy. My husband works and it makes him happy. Our son is a happy little ball of energy whether he tagging into the office with one of us or heading out with the nanny to a park when he's not in school As long as everyone is happy and everything is working for us then I have no guilt about the decisions I make for my family. When someone starts to be unhappy in our household, then we sit down and re-evaluate what we need to do to make everyone happy again and its as simple as that. Besides I could give a flying f*#k what anyone has to say about my parenting decisions and my child.

Todd Vrancic

Guilt is overrated.

MeAnd... MeAndTommyLee

Whatever.  I stay home with my children and am thrilled to be here.  My peace is knowing my kids are safe. fed, happy and being brought up and taught they way me and my husband wants them to be.

Ari. Ari.

I don't feel guilty. I am a mother AND a professional. I did not waste 6 years and all that money to just have degrees to decorate the den with. I use them. I would feel completely useless if I didn't.



I would absolutely not be able to survive knowing I was depending on someone else financially, makes me sick thinking about it. I am strong, willing, able, and educated... why wouldn't I work? I want my kids to know how hard we work and will hope they do so when the time comes.



I have no guilt because my kids are smart, happy, healthy little monsters who love their Mom and Dad.

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