Sarah Chang is a mom trying to navigate the mean streets of Manhattan with a stroller. She writes about raising a bi-cultural daughter at The Stroller Ballet.
To help us celebrate Mother's Day, Sarah has shared the scary pediatrician edict that hit her right in the guts:
Overweight.
It’s a word I never imagined could be used to describe my 3-year-old. I thought -- and still think -- of Peanut as “fine”. She’s small, but solid. Without so much as the suggestion of a belly. She’s active -- she’ll walk up to 1 mile without complaint.
She plays soccer and takes dance. She eats some veggies, lots of fruits, and loves bananas. She wears a 3T -- the one she’s supposed to ... I think. Does vanity sizing apply to toddler clothing?
But as I stood in an exam room during Peanut’s three-year check up a few weeks ago, it became apparent that the doctor didn’t think her height and weight matched up the way they were “supposed” to. As the pediatrician explained, her height is in the 9th percentile; her weight the 64th. I wouldn’t expect Peanut to have a fighting chance at being overly tall; the odds certainly aren’t in her favor (neither my husband nor I are particularly big).
Still.
Overweight.
By clinical standards.
I should add a disclaimer here: in that moment, I was completely horrified. Mostly because I cringe at how the word was thrown at us. Is it appropriate to use this as a descriptive for small children who are generally active and healthy? Seasoned mothers (including my own) would probably tell you that growth is a series of steps; some kids stay a little longer at one step and jump over the next.
Naturally, I can easily tell you what the ideal is for women; I’ll give you a bulleted list. Like many others, I struggled with years of body image issues. Issues I only truly shed after giving birth to a girl -- an experience that greatly altered my perspective.
I know that struggle isn’t something I wish for my daughter.
Of course it’s unrealistic to believe that Peanut will never experience a moment of doubt about her appearance. But I hope that those thoughts will be fleeting; quickly replaced with ideas of how smart or strong or talented she is. That she’ll be able to quiet the voices of those few people who don’t have anything nice to say (we’re all aware of their existence).
I know I’m part of the equation. It’s a responsibility we take on as mothers.
Right then, in a cold and sterile physicians office, I became even more determined to accept myself for what I look like.
And who I am.
For more from Sarah Chang, visit her site: The Stroller Ballet
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What battle are you determined to win for your child's sake?
Our series of mom bloggers we love runs throughout May in honor of Mother's Day. Click here to see them all.
Image via puuikibeach/Flickr
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Comments 12
Keep doing what you're doing, mom. Keep her active, keep her eating healthy, and help her understand that those are the things that are important, not some chart on a wall. Do some research on BMI, and realize that it ws never meant to be used to measure individual health.
Keep up the good work - she'll understand that it's about the whole picture of her health, and not just the number on the scale.
If your pediatrician says your child is overweight, take it with a grain of salt. But go back in 6 months to double check. If a doctor is regularly saying that your precious baby is too heavy, maybe you should pull the wool off your eyes and notice that they're more fat than stocky.
Oh, and I don't mean this directly to the blogger, per-se. I mean it for anyone that wears blinders where their kids are concerned. Just because your kid is active, and eats right, doesn't automatically mean they're healthy.
I try my best with DD get her out to swim, ride her bike, walk in town ... and eat well she is in good health
Was she looking chubbier than usual at the appointment? Kid's tend to build up a supply of chub just before a growth spurt and then they stretch right out again.
She may not be as active as you think. My son took a dance class in preschool and it really wasn't a lot of activity. A lot of it is stretching and when they are doing something that involves moving across the room they are often going individually or in small groups so each individual child doesn't get that much exercise. Walking almost a mile isn't that much either, the first time my kid walked that far he was just under 18 months and when we were on vacation just before he turned two he was taking walks of up to two miles many days and walked about four miles one day in a country park. At four he climbed his first 3000'+ mountain.
after having my daughter 6 yrs ago, I became more self confidant & less reliant on what I thought I looked like. I don't weigh myself, I don't stare at myself in the mirror pointing out what's wrong.. I don't say things about myself or others. I don't talk much about looks. I tell her she's SMART & beautiful. But I emphasise that smart is more important. She is stunningly beautiful with her hazel eyes that change color and light brown hair with blond highlights.. she's got my petite frame and dimples.. but I am proud of my hard work and dedication as a mom to show her that working hard in life & excelling at school and work are far more important then the people who ask me why she isn't a model. We get our hands dirty with gardening & she's reading at a 2nd grade level.. I wish all moms would do this not only for their daughters but for them selves.
Our kids, especially our daughters, are watching us. While I try not to complain about my weight in front of my daughters, I also try to eat healthier, smaller portions, and less dessert. I get out and do active things (biking, hiking, swimming) with my girls even though I'd rather sit at home and knit (I especially hate swimming). My health is better than ever, simply because I want to be a better role model.
Our kids, especially our daughters, are watching us. While I try not to complain about my weight in front of my daughters, I also try to eat healthier, smaller portions, and less dessert. I get out and do active things (biking, hiking, swimming) with my girls even though I'd rather sit at home and knit (I especially hate swimming). My health is better than ever, simply because I want to be a better role model. My 12-year-old daughter has friends who are overweight, and they are miserable about it. No matter how accepting a mother is, society makes being overweight is very hard for girls. Your daughter won't be 3 forever, so you might want to focus on healthy weight as well as healthy attitude,.