Stay-at-Home Moms Have a Lot to Learn From Working Moms (VIDEO)

Mom Moment 25

the kristen chase show

Episode 2 of The Kristen Chase Show came out on CafeMom Studios this week, and Kristen actually dared to talk about a topic that hits home for all of us -- the dreaded Mommy Wars. (Gasp!)

Don't you pretty much want to run and hide any time that topic comes up? I sure do. I am so over the whole stay-at-home mom vs. working mom debate that I could scream. I mean, why does motherhood have to be this big competition? We're all doing the very best we can to be good parents & role models to our kids while doing what feels right for us and our own families, but it seems like we can't win whether we stay at home, work at home, or head into the office every day. There's always someone who feels the need to criticize us for our choices.

(Can't we all just get along?!)

Kristen is a SAHM of four kids (yes, four!), so she's no stranger to the Mommy Wars, and she knows they aren't going anywhere anytime soon.

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But instead of highlighting how ridiculous the Mommy Wars are, Kristen sat down with Kerry Mazzacano, who is a working mom, to talk about some important lessons that SAHMs can learn from working moms and apply to their parenting.

Watch the show in the video clip below to hear plenty of great tips.

As a former SAHM turned WAHM (who goes into the office a couple times a month), I was able to identify with a lot of what Kristen and Kerry talked about since I've been on both sides of the spectrum.

When I stayed at home all day with my son, I was much more addicted to my iPhone and being online so I could check Facebook and email and connect with other people during the day. But now that I work full-time and spend my working hours online, I'm better able to put down the computer and the phone at the end of the day to unplug and spend quality time with my son. When I'm with him, I'm really with him.

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I also agree that I'm more rigid now about making regular hair appointments, eyebrow waxes, etc., simply because I can't go do those things while my son is at school anymore. My free time is very limited, so I have to snag appointments and keep them when I can.

Are you a SAHM, WAHM, or a working mom? What did you most identify with in this episode, and do you think the Mommy Wars will ever end?

Did you enjoy The Kristen Chase Show? Be sure to subscribe to CafeMom Studios so you don't miss an episode!


Image via CafeMomStudios/YouTube

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Laurlev Laurlev

I am a SAHM. While I do treasure my time with my son, sometimes I wish I worked. I miss the income and having a reason to dress nice every day. I'm actually the only SAHM of my friends. There is no difference between my son and their kids except their kids are a bit more social. My mom was a SAHM and DH's mom worked. We are both happy, well-adjusted people. Mommy wars are stupid.

tinyp... tinypossum

I'm a working mom and I did identify with some of the things in this episode. I think we do have to try to fit a lot more into our time than a mom whose sole focus are her kids. It's a constant balancing act. But, it doesn't mean we are better or worse than any other mom. I will never understand why women feel the need to attack other women for how they live their lives. Being a mother is hard, regardless of how you do it. There's no need for judgment, shaming, or attacks. We should be trying a lot harder to support each other. 

nonmember avatar ProudMomof3

I am currently a SAHM. I was a single mother with my first child for several years and had to work. I always wanted to be a SAHM. After doing both I find that having a husband in addition to my children makes it more challenging staying at home. It was easier working and when it was only my son that I was taking care of it was much easier and less stressful. My opinion is that each mother does their job to raise their children, whether they work out of home or in home and it is only the business of each household how they do it. I will say in defense of SAHMs when you work outside of the home you are paying someone to do the job that a SAHM does when your child is at daycare so working moms do not do twice as much work. The work is just distributed in a different way.


I stayed home with my kids until my youngest started school and then from all my volunteer work, I was offered a job at the school so I grabbed that FAST. It was perfect FOR ME. I was home with them when they were home and I was with them for parts of the day for their school life. I loved it.

I think you should do what you want and what works for you. This will most likely never end because it won't be long until someone starts making judgmental comments right under Larlev and I. People who WANT to fight will always find a way and they're out there. I personally don't think it's anyone else's business to tell anyone else what to do.


Tinypossums comment wasn't there when I wrote mine so I include her in being nonjudgmental.

the4m... the4mutts

I see no reason to quibble about whether working, staying home, having a nanny, etc, are better.

What I do find a need to quibble about, is these little "tips" that keep popping up from all sides. All they serve to do, is try and insinuate *or flat out say* that "what you're doing, isn't good enough, listen to me instead"

Sorry, I don't need tips of any kind from a working mom, or other SAHMs, or anyone for that matter.

I am an excellent mother, with happy children who are loved, well adjusted, healthy, and love their mommy more than anyone. I have been through hard times, scary times, financial crisis times, and I have brought my family through it. Yes, ME. I brought them through. Almost completely alone. I have emotionaly & financially supported my kids, my SO, my ex husband at times, and still managed to take care of myself.

Do I want an award? No. I want everyone to feel this way. Everyone should know that if they are not abusing their children, then they ARE the perfect parent. They are doing it RIGHT, and don't need to be told otherwise

nonmember avatar ruthless1

The mommy wars will never go away because the root of it all is fear and guilt.
When someone is worried about the choice they have made and whether or not it is the right one, they seek to make themselves feel better by reinforcing their choice by tearing down the other side. If you feel secure in your decision, whatever it may be, you have no need to rip someone elses choice to make yourself feel better. Rather than get insulted when this mommy bashing happens, I try to have sympathy for the basher because I know it means they have doubts and fears about themselves.

L25 L25

I dont get what the competition is, who's winning or what "winning"  would even mean anyways. We all just want to be good parents, I love that she did this video, it shows we can learn things from each other rather than compete with who's "better". Give both the SAHM and the Working Mom a big pat on the back, you are both giving your kids what they need!! :)

the4m... the4mutts

ruthless1- I tend to agree with you. Granted, if my opinion is asked, its usually given. But aside from that, I really don't care what other parents choose to do with their children. And I think its because I'm secure in my own parenting.

Zamaria Zamaria

I'm kind of a working mom and a stay at home mom. I work nights and take care of the kids during the day. I get to sleep from 1am to 5:30am at my job, so as long as I take a nap when the kids do, it works out pretty well, although there are some days that I don't get my nap in, and that can be difficult. Being a mom is hard, wether you stay at home or not. I'm not perfect, but I'm a pretty good mom. I think as long as we are really doing the best that we can for our kids, that makes us all good moms, wether we work or not.

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