Popular Mommy Message Board Acronyms Translated for Confused Non-Moms
Maybe it was all those Nancy Drew books I read as a kid, but I've always thought secret codes and languages were kind of cool and fun. So those typically acronym-filled Mommy Message Boards never bothered me, but apparently they're seriously frustrating/obnoxious to some people, particularly non-moms whose everyday vocabulary isn't peppered with terms like attachment parenting and chorionic villus sampling.
I get it, especially considering that so much of the abbreviated lexicon requires a double translation for the uninitiated:
First, the actual words corresponding to each letter in the acronym; second, a sort of layman's version of the definition.
In an attempt to open the lines of cross-demographic acronym understanding, we've made the following list ...
7 Mommy Message Board Terms, Translated
Actual meaning: Work-at-home mom
Non-mom translation: Tears her hair out all day trying to not get fired and keep children alive/fed/entertained at the same time mom
Actual meaning: Work-out-of-home mom
Non-mom translation: Tears her hair out all day trying to not get fired and make sure children are being kept alive/fed/entertained at the same time mom
Actual meaning: Working mom
Non-mom translation: EVERY MOM IS A WORKING MOM!
Actual meaning: Lactational amennorhea method; referring to natural infertility while breastfeeding
Non-mom translation: Form of "birth control" that really works -- unless you really need it to work
Actual meaning: Nursing at keyboard
Non-mom translation: The only way a nursing mom can ever spend a few minutes on the computer
Actual meaning: Baby dancing (sex for conception)
Non-mom translation: Sex as a chore
Actual meaning: Darling husband
Non-mom translation: That amazing man who fathered your child; alternate meaning: That amazingly dense man who fathered your child but snores right through the child's crying jag at 2 a.m.
What are some of your favorite Mommy Message Board acronyms? What do they REALLY mean to you?
Image via Ernst Vikne/Flickr
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