What did you say, mom?I have a few rules about how I behave in front of my kids: 1) Don't talk smack about people around the little ones, mostly because they repeat everything you say -- usually in front of the person you were trashing, 2) don't be hysterical and/or negative unless it's absolutely necessary, and 3) never use curse words in front of them, for similar reasons as #1.
However, I'm retiring rule #3 as of today, and it feels fucking great.
Given that I have to drive in Los Angeles every single day, this adjustment of the rules was inevitable. I know there are plenty of people out there who get through the day without uttering one single profanity. I am not one of those people. I am, however, someone who has cut down dramatically on the dropping of the f-bomb since my first child was born, six years ago. I've also perfected the disappointed frown aimed at relatives who decide it's okay to say "shit" around my kids. Which is why I never thought I'd loosen up old rule number three, until I decided enough was enough.
Many of you will trot out the old adage, "Using profanity means you have a small vocabulary," and I will have to vehemently disagree. Using expletives can color your conversation in ways that "shoot" simply cannot. Also, it feels good. Just ask my 3-year-old. (Ha! Kidding. So far.)
But really, if he throws down a well-timed, "shit" on the pre-school playground, big deal. Yes I'll be embarrassed for a minute, but if he uses it in the proper context, I'll also experience some motherly pride. Which I will hide from his teachers.
There are worse things in the world than cursing around your kids. Many, many, many worse things. And since I plan on doing none of those things, this will be my vice from now on, goddamn it.
Do you curse around your kids?
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Comments 17
There are many worse things but why add a small negative thing to their list when it can be prevented.
I personally don't cuss around my kids, not because I don't want them to hear and repeat but because I don't cuss on a normal basis anyway. When I hear someone cuss, I do feel that they sound less educated if they drop a 4 letter word every sentance. The occasional one when irritated or hurt, sure but there are those who cannot have an entire conversation without using one as an adjective in each sentance they say.
Even frick, crud and gammit are not allowed from my kids' mouths. Those words don't have a meaning so why waste words?
I drop F bombs, in both English and Spanish, but not aimed at anyone. DD is 7 and has never repeated.
Sometimes they just drop, and my vocabulary is extensive in both languages.
Yes. Yes I do. "Dammit" comes out of my mouth especially often these days. Maybe it's because I'm at the tail end of an especially uncomfortable pregnancy, but sometimes I just run out of patience and self control and a four-letter word goes flying. It's not a great thing to do, but we're only human...dammit!
Ah, nice. The rule at my house was "you can only use curse words IF they are in the lyrics of the song you are currently singing in my car!" It worked great!!
This weekend my 4 year old asked her daddy, completely out of the blue, "What are the hell are you doing, Daddy?" ALL of us (my mom included) burst into hysterics. Of course, we felt obliged to correct the phrase for her, which she repeated ad nauseum. We followed the laughter with a conversation about only using that word around our family (NOT around her other grandparents, at school or in public) and the kid seems to get it! I've never heard a report of her using a word worse than "butt" at school. I'll admit to using a pretty colorful vocabulary around her.
On the other hand, I had to have a conversation with my 2nd graders about not using the words "crap" and "sucks" so much at school. I don't think THEIR parents have told them the "only at home" rule.
I wouldn't cuss left and right, but if something slips out, it's not that big of a deal. We have emotions and cussing is a widely used way to express it. It doesn't harm children if their mom or dad uses a "bad" word.