In our grandparents' era, children were potty trained much earlier than they are now. With the advent of disposable diapers, potty training became something parents stopped pushing on their kids and let the kids lead them. But then it all changed again.
Now, we have people on one side of the issue who insist children should be potty trained by the age of 2 (and some even younger) and those who believe children should potty train when they are ready.
Babble had a controversial article last week from a doctor who says early potty training (under 3) is actually a major problem. The one thing we can be clear on is this: Potty training is not a competitive sport. No matter how many mommies (and daddies) might say otherwise.
As a mom of two, I have now seen two children potty train in vastly different ways. My daughter was done with diapers at 2. She just stopped. From then on, she was trained at night, during the day, and to this day (she is now 5), I can count on one hand the number of "accidents" she has ever had.
That said, we did run into some physical problems with her in regards to elimination and, though they all sorted out, it was scary for a little while. Was early training to blame?
My son, on the other hand, took forever to be ready to train. I was practically begging him to use the potty by the time he started. But once he did, he was trained night, day, and all the time.
Asking around, it seems potty training -- like everything else to do with parenting -- is fraught. People are so insecure about it and feel the need to compete as though there were some sort of medal for a kid going in the potty.
If your 18-month-old pees in the potty during the day, but wears a diaper at night and during naps, is he really trained? I think not.
Of course, competition isn't the only reason to potty train a kid. There is also the environmental factor and not wanting to clean up poop all the time, both of which are compelling, albeit private, reasons to be less dependent on diapers.
It seems to me that maybe if there were less judging and more allowing for children to make their own choices, everyone would be happier and healthier. No mommy (or kid) ever won an Olympic medal for potty training. Every kid gets there eventually, right?
Do you think letting kids "wait" to potty train is bad?
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Comments 54
Our son is almost 2 1/2 and we're waiting to potty train. He is NOT ready. I can tell. He's my kid, I should know. That's my job. People wanna get judgmental with me, I tell them that when they've lived with my son for as long as I have they can make those calls. Until then, I will, thankyouverymuch.
As a mommy friend of mine said just this morning, "It's not like they're going to be asking on his college application at what age did you potty train?" LOL
My daughter led me to potty training at 24 months. She did it by herself. Would i have cared if it took until 5, no BUT the preschools would have cared.
In my area, many preschools expect a child to be trained to go on their own and not need help wiping or buttoning their pants back up on their own.
Sometimes this is more than a parent being competitive but more about the people who watch our children not wanting to do extra work involved with a child even though they are paid to do so.
I obvioulsy have no recolection of my own potty training and my 9 month old son is no where near there yet. But when brother was being potty trained he would only pee on the potty, not poo. When he needed to poo he would go tell my mom, she would put a diaper on him, he would go behind the recliner or the couch (of course you need privacy for that type of thing), do his business and then my mom would change him. My mom didn't care because a.) he was really constipated and only went like twice a week and b.) he never sat down or anything after he went so clean up was a breeze.
He had an "accident" in the bathtub when he was around 2 1/2 so he was terrified of poop. He thought they came up the drain to attack him. We assume that is why he was afraid of going in the potty (that is also why he refused to take a bath for almost a year and the only way to get him clean was for my dad to personally shower with him.
Potty training is complete differently in every child.It has more to do with children learning how to know the signals, from sphynter to brain. that their bodies need to discharge.
You can start training them at a very early age, from when they are able to sit and stand up by themselves, and they could learn when they must go potty, but their bodies have a timeline to activate the signals.
Our daughter was almost potty trained when she was hospitalized for a week and they put her in diapers to more easily (for them) measure her i$o. Set her back months. Oh, well, I would rather have a kid that breathes well than have one potty trained to some artificial standard who is unable to breathe well.
Sorry that should have been i&o as in input and output.
im a mother of two with one on the way. my son was pretty easy to potty train the aim was his problem, but ive been working with my daughter since she was 6 months and she will be tthree in june, and we are still no where near close, i think it just depends on the child.
I don't know what kind of "health problems" this is refering to, but both my boys trained themselves at around age 2 and no problems to speak of. We cloth diapered, so I wonder if that did help them learn faster, though. My youngest, 25 months, is in pull ups at night still.....but night training really isn't about training at all but about body maturity and I know he'll get there when he's physically ready.