Parents, we need to talk. It has come to my attention that some of you have gotten into the ridiculous trend known as the "potty party." Potty as in potty training. Party as in cakes and cookies and balloons and streamers and other gee gaws that used to be carted out just once a year ... on their birthdays.
People. People. PEOPLE! Your kid just took a dump in a plastic tub which you then had to dump into your toilet and flush off for the nice folks at the sewer plant to deal with. And you're inviting guests? Have you lost your minds?
I suppose in a world where people actually post pictures of their little munchkin's first bowel movement on Facebook and expect people to "like" it, this is what we've come to. Inviting the neighbors in to celebrate the fact that you have finally bid the diaper days goodbye.
I get that this is a momentous occasion. I really do. When my kid was finally potty trained, a whole chunk of money began to stay in my wallet each month instead of being deposited in the cash register at Sam's Club so I could carry that big box of Pampers out to the car. And let me tell you, there is nothing quite like the day when you realize that not once in the past 24 hours have you actually wiped someone else's ass. That's like July 4th and your birthday and Christmas all rolled up into one, my friends.
And that was enough for me. Really. I mean, the kid got some good stuff too -- if I recall correctly, there were stickers and M&M's and some high fives and hugs because this was a big frickin' deal in our house.
But that's the point, people. In our house. Not in the world or even in our community. She didn't negotiate a peace treaty with Iran. She didn't turn a deserted lot into a park. She didn't even become the proud owner of a high school diploma so she could continue her march onward into being a productive member of society. She decided she'd rather not sit in her own feces.
If that deserves a party, what's next? A trip to Disney World when she learns to tie her shoes? A flight to the moon when she masters the multiplication tables?
How about we start setting some realistic expectations for our kids and kick this trend to the curb, what do you say? Are you with me?
What will you be doing to celebrate potty training success? Anything?
Image via alibree/Flickr