My Son Is Dressing Like a Girl, So What?

son wears a dressFor the chosen people, this week is one of those "fun" holidays, in contrast to the forgiveness-asking, fasting, and all-around guilt-feeling ones. This Thursday is Purim, where kids and adults dress up, act unusual, drink, and dance. (Grape juice for kids, let's keep it clean people.) At my almost 3-year-old's Jewish pre-school there will be a carnival and all kinds of fun and games to celebrate what is actually kind of a bloody holiday that somehow now translates into "Let's dress up and party!"

One of the key figures in the Purim story is Queen Esther. The most beautiful lady in the land, Esther dazzled the King (a non-Jew) and he married her and treasured her. Then his henchman Haman decided it was time to kill all the Jews. So Queen Esther gets to "come out" to her husband as Hebrew, and there's kind of a happy ending. Well, after the initial slaughter is over.

The point is Esther is the hero in this story, and naturally my son wants to be her on Purim. No big deal, right?

Not to me. And most likely not to anyone in his school. I have no issue in pulling out one of his older sister's princess dresses and seeing if he can wear it to school for the festivities. But I'm sure someone out there will. Someone who sees boys playing with dolls and screams, "Homosexual! Sinner!" Someone who is obviously not very enlightened and filled with hate, but hey, we all have our faults.

But the fact of the matter is, my toddler has a big sister and has always been subjected to girly dress-up and play (see above picture). It is, in fact, one of my favorite things about having a girl as the oldest child. She can model behavior for a boy that isn't all tackling, hitting, and spitting. I want to raise a more sensitive boy, and this is going to be a challenge given his penchant for punk rock and throwing things.

So if the kid wants to put on a dress and go to school, I say more power to him. Let the haters hate, as my hip-hop friends say. I can't control your bigotry any more than you can control my son's desire to be the hero in the story.

Would you let your son wear a dress to school?


boys, fun & games, toddler development


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Eques... EquestrianMom

Yup. My son still ikes to paint his nails, although now he wants boy colours (make them camo mommy!) and yes, it raised a big stink with the rest of my (ex) family. But hey, the boy stayed home all day with his mommy. Yeah, we played in the dirt, we ride horses, we ride bikes, we play swords, and when mommy takes five to paint her toes cherry red, guess who else wants to do that too? It has nothing to do with gender issues, sexuality or anything else. My two yr old boy did not know I painted my toes because daddy thought it was sexy, he just thought it was neat I had red toes! LOL! 

 So yeah, if he wanted to wear a dress to school, I wouldn't care. I also think it's cute that he likes to wear scarves tied on to make skirts when we dance in the kitchen, so it swirls like mommies skirts! LOL! 

nonmember avatar kick me

My son is 12 and in 6th grade. He wouldn't want to (as far as I know). If he wanted to wear a dress I wouldn't allow it. I don't care what you allow yours to do. Your kids are adorable.

nonmember avatar kick me

After I trim my sons nails, I do paint them clear. I hate messy nails on kids. When he was a toddler we did the nail painting thing too.

Todd Vrancic

The kid's three!  Of course he wants to be the hero!  I wouldn't have a problem with it if the kid was 23, as long as he knew his own mind.  It sounds like yours does, so more power to him!

nonmember avatar Sarah

Let him! Who cares? He wants to be some one admirable like Queen Esther. Who cares if boys wear dresses or paint their nails? As long as they are happy.

sahm2... sahm2shaina

Just because i believe homosexuality is a sin doesnt mean im filled with hate, or that im a hater. As a jew you should look at your tanach - specifically at sodom and gimora, god burned a whole city over the sin of homosexuality.

i.payton i.payton

Um, sahm2shaina, the story of Sodom and Gomorrah was about lack of hospitality and rape.

Anyway, it's fine to let little boys wear dresses and little girls play with trucks -- they're kids, plain and simple, and shouldn't be sexualized so early. By putting them into strict gender roles the moment their genitals are evident on an ultrasound can't be healthy.

nonmember avatar Jessica

Are you seriously writing an advance outrage piece about how some people might have an issue with your son playing dress-up?! You are calling people haters and bigots when nothing has actually happened, Personally I think you should lighten up and quit making yourself angry over how people may react.

However, very cute photo!

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