In the era of modern parenting we are no longer left to our own devices, when it comes to knowing -- and implementing -- the best possible parenting strategies. Sure, this is a good thing. After all, more people stopped spanking/smoking/feeding kids Twinkies for dinner. But as I read yet another study that focuses on teaching our kids to tell the truth, I'm feeling like maybe I've got enough information and should just close my ears and sing, "Lalalala, I can't hear you!" from here on out.
In addition to this advice on disciplining children, which boils down to, "Stay calm, talk in a low, authoritative voice and don't be extreme with punishment," we chose a pre-school and grade school that also embrace this controlled method of parenting/teaching. Which means, any school conferences end in me feeling like I've so been doing it wrong.
After all, I get stressed, and it can show sometimes. Like when I screamed in the general direction of my daughter in the back seat of the car that she was never going to get to go over to any friend's house ever again. Not my proudest parenting moment, and most likely the end result will be a kid who acts out and lies all the time. Or, perhaps, a kid who will never throw a rock at an adult in his own backyard ever again. We'll see.
I kind of think that makes me normal, rather than not. However, I know I should take a deep breath and speak in a low voice without screaming. I know it's more effective in disciplining my kids, and they listen when I speak to them in this manner. But after I do parenting "right" I'm freaking exhausted. It takes a lot more energy to stop, get it under control, focus on the right thing to say and execute "the talk" in the best possible way. It's so much easier -- and let's face it, more satisfying -- to let out a yell that includes the words "NEVER" and "AGAIN."
I know. Bad mom, but seriously, how much do we have to get right in a day in order to have happy, sort of normal, kids? Because I just don't think I'm up to the task of raising perfectly behaved, 100% of the time, children. No matter how hard her teachers push.
Is this how you parent your kids?
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