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Stephen Colbert Makes Me Want to Give My Kid Coffee & Cigarettes (VIDEO)

by Adriana Velez on March 1, 2012 at 5:31 PM

colbert babyccinosLook who just got hip to the Babyccinos trend: Stephen Colbert. And he loves the idea so much, he gave it a "Tip of the Hat" on his show last night!

Stephen thinks "hooking babies up on the foam dragon" is a mighty fine idea, considering how impossible it is to get babies up in the morning. I know, right? Baby needs caffeine to get ready and out the door in time for that play date.

In fact, Stephen thinks anything we, parents, do every day, our kids should do every day, too! Like smoking "Virjunior Slims" cigarettes with their babyccinos.

virjunior slims
Gosh how cute, Baby's first ciggies!
Now that we're talking about things parents do every day that our toddlers should do, too, I'm starting to get some great ideas. Like, maybe we should take our toddlers into therapy with us, right? I think all elite preschools are requiring new kids to be both potty trained and to have their Oedipal complexes resolved before they're admitted. The pressure!

And why stop at coffee? I mean, if Mommy needs a vodka, maybe baby does, too. Did you ever think of that? It's really, really hard figuring out how to talk and walk and making sure that every time you throw your food off your high chair tray, it really will hit the ground. Exhausting work!

I was going to come up with some other outrageous examples but I'm kind of hitting a wall here -- because everything else I can think of already exists in real life. Video games for toddlers, check. TV shows for toddlers, check. Dance clubs for toddlers, check. Board book versions of classic literature, check. You know what, Colbert? We're way ahead of you, baby.

This video can not be viewed on The Stir Mobile.

Do you agree with Stephen Colbert's logic that anything we parents do, we should have our kids do, too?


Image via ColbertNation

Filed Under: in the news, toddler development


  • jessi...


    March 1, 2012 at 5:41 PM

    oh gosh what is next 

  • onefo...


    March 1, 2012 at 5:48 PM

    Um. Couldn't think of anything else to write about, huh?

  • Alma45


    March 1, 2012 at 6:41 PM
    I love his satire!
  • qwerty
    -- Nonmember comment from


    March 1, 2012 at 7:25 PM
    He's really funny, but people who freak out about what he says because they don't get the concept of satire are even funnier!
  • zooey77


    March 1, 2012 at 8:32 PM

    I love it too, But there are like all the parents that do believe their little darlin's do deserve all the top designer threads, when they will grow out of them in 3- 6months! So, I do laugh very hard thinking about it all.

    Well,I feel when they make the money to buy them, and dry clean them, and know which to buy that will last for enough seasons, then I say they can have the same as Mommy & Daddy!

  • Lu...
    -- Facebook comment from

    Lu McNeal

    March 2, 2012 at 1:33 AM
    SATIRE. SA-TI-RE. If you don't get it, stop watching Colbert and John Steward.
  • Lu...
    -- Facebook comment from

    Lu McNeal

    March 2, 2012 at 1:33 AM

    *John Steward. DYAC!

  • Lu...
    -- Facebook comment from

    Lu McNeal

    March 2, 2012 at 1:34 AM


  • Saman...
    -- Facebook comment from

    Samantha Wortham

    March 2, 2012 at 2:45 AM


  • ofthe...


    March 2, 2012 at 7:28 AM

    I just love him! 

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