Stephen Colbert Makes Me Want to Give My Kid Coffee & Cigarettes (VIDEO)

LOL 23

colbert babyccinosLook who just got hip to the Babyccinos trend: Stephen Colbert. And he loves the idea so much, he gave it a "Tip of the Hat" on his show last night!

Stephen thinks "hooking babies up on the foam dragon" is a mighty fine idea, considering how impossible it is to get babies up in the morning. I know, right? Baby needs caffeine to get ready and out the door in time for that play date.

In fact, Stephen thinks anything we, parents, do every day, our kids should do every day, too! Like smoking "Virjunior Slims" cigarettes with their babyccinos.

virjunior slims
Gosh how cute, Baby's first ciggies!
Now that we're talking about things parents do every day that our toddlers should do, too, I'm starting to get some great ideas. Like, maybe we should take our toddlers into therapy with us, right? I think all elite preschools are requiring new kids to be both potty trained and to have their Oedipal complexes resolved before they're admitted. The pressure!

And why stop at coffee? I mean, if Mommy needs a vodka, maybe baby does, too. Did you ever think of that? It's really, really hard figuring out how to talk and walk and making sure that every time you throw your food off your high chair tray, it really will hit the ground. Exhausting work!

I was going to come up with some other outrageous examples but I'm kind of hitting a wall here -- because everything else I can think of already exists in real life. Video games for toddlers, check. TV shows for toddlers, check. Dance clubs for toddlers, check. Board book versions of classic literature, check. You know what, Colbert? We're way ahead of you, baby.

Do you agree with Stephen Colbert's logic that anything we parents do, we should have our kids do, too?

 

Image via ColbertNation

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