According to Merriam-Webster, the definition of a helicopter parent is "a parent who is overly involved in the life of his or her child."
I think we all know a helicopter parent or two. You may even be one yourself. Me? I'm a free-range kid who grew up to be a hovering helicopter parent. So I can relate to wanting to be involved in your child's life. But sometimes you see something that goes above and beyond the standard, taking hovering to a new level.
For example:
- Bubble-wrapping your child before sending them outside to play freeze tag with the neighborhood kids.
- Infiltrating not only your child’s play dates as a toddler, but also actual dates as an adult, to make sure he doesn't get his heart broken by some big, meanie girl.
- Cutting up your kid’s food and pre-chewing it to be sure they don’t choke and/or only feeding them soft foods. Banana smoothie anyone?
- Burping your 12-year-old after he downs a carbonated beverage.
- Making your 5-year-old wear a helmet to play on the jungle gym at school.
- Slathering every square inch of your child in SPF 2000 before allowing them to walk to the car. (Unless they are Dracula I sincerely doubt they are in any danger of spontaneously combusting or bursting into flames.)
- Keeping your 46-inch, 6-year-old imprisoned in a crib and wearing a diaper to ensure that he doesn't get out of bed and wander down some stairs and stub his toe.
- Lurking outside of the elementary school, watching through the kindergarten classroom window, and patrolling to make sure that no one steals your child from the school grounds.
- Following your 18-year-old off to university and moving into the apartment next door, so that you can make sure that his refrigerator is full, his clothes are clean, and no one is mean to him.
- Accompanying your grown child on a job interview. Dressing him, sitting next to him, and answering all questions for him while deflecting any that might make him feel less than perfect.
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Do I have a problem with any of things? Nah. I say parent and let parent. In fact, to those of you who have done any of these, I would like to pay tribute. I salute you, super helicopter parents.
C'mon you can tell us, have you done any of these things?
Image via Harbortrees/Flickr
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Comments 31
Thats sad....why? I can see myself doing 8 and 9...lol.
My mom is a teacher and she's had to have some frank talks with one 4th grade boy's grandma who insisted on accompanying her grandson to school. Grandma dearest wants to sit with him at lunch, sit next to him in class (which my mom doesn't allow) and follow the school bus on field trips. Mom tried to explain that what she was doing was freaking out the other kids' parents, but Grandma dearest was BSC.
LOL! Obviously, these examples were over the top but I will say this ladies, I have seen every one of these first hand with the exception of the bubble-wrapping of a child to go outside. It is true. I understand the want/need to keep your child safe and alive. I really do. There has got to be a middle ground, somewhere between hovering helicopter and free-range parent. A sweet spot where our children can gain independence and still be safe. I think kids definitely need supervision, especially when little, and precautions need to be taken to protect them from unsavory characters. But in the end, they will leave us and we can only hope that we have raised them to be independent and self-sufficient enough to thrive in the world:)
Poor kids, they're not gaining any self confidence, learning any social skills, are going to be outcasts by their peers or just down right sufocated and disfunctional adults. Jeez, be there to help them when they go through hard times, or help them with something they've tried to get done but couldn't, ....be a parent not a helicopter for all their peers to pick on them for. What a selfish thing to do. Sure it makes YOU feel good but it breaks down and stunts your kids' personal strength and growth. Love them more than you love your own needs
Totally agree with latebloomer - being too overprotective is terrible for a child. These extreme examples are funny, esp since I know a few moms who are very close to doing many of these things. I was raised by overprotective parents and I was THRILLED when I graduated college and moved 6 hours away to a vibrant city. However, I drove my roommates crazy because I didn't know a lot of basic things about living on my own.
True story, a radio personality where I live admited live on air that he sits outside with his loaded gun whenever his 6 year old daughter plays outside. Even though they live in a gated community. Even though he has a 8 foot fence around their back yard, even though he is right there in the yard with her, with his cell phone with 911 on speed dial. Because clearly, someone is going to jump the fence and take her and jump back over the fence to get away....
Paranoid much?