Top 10 Most Outlandish Helicopter Parent Hover Moves

LOL 31

mom feeds kid

According to Merriam-Webster, the definition of a helicopter parent is "a parent who is overly involved in the life of his or her child."

I think we all know a helicopter parent or two. You may even be one yourself. Me? I'm a free-range kid who grew up to be a hovering helicopter parent. So I can relate to wanting to be involved in your child's life. But sometimes you see something that goes above and beyond the standard, taking hovering to a new level. 

For example:

  1. Bubble-wrapping your child before sending them outside to play freeze tag with the neighborhood kids.
  2. Infiltrating not only your child’s play dates as a toddler, but also actual dates as an adult, to make sure he doesn't get his heart broken by some big, meanie girl.
  3. Cutting up your kid’s food and pre-chewing it to be sure they don’t choke and/or only feeding them soft foods. Banana smoothie anyone?
  4. Burping your 12-year-old after he downs a carbonated beverage.
  5. Making your 5-year-old wear a helmet to play on the jungle gym at school.
  6. Slathering every square inch of your child in SPF 2000 before allowing them to walk to the car. (Unless they are Dracula I sincerely doubt they are in any danger of spontaneously combusting or bursting into flames.)
  7. Keeping your 46-inch, 6-year-old imprisoned in a crib and wearing a diaper to ensure that he doesn't get out of bed and wander down some stairs and stub his toe.
  8. Lurking outside of the elementary school, watching through the kindergarten classroom window, and patrolling to make sure that no one steals your child from the school grounds.
  9. Following your 18-year-old off to university and moving into the apartment next door, so that you can make sure that his refrigerator is full, his clothes are clean, and no one is mean to him.
  10. Accompanying your grown child on a job interview. Dressing him, sitting next to him, and answering all questions for him while deflecting any that might make him feel less than perfect.

More from The Stir: Attention Shoppers: This Is the Most Annoying Parenting Move Ever

Do I have a problem with any of things? Nah. I say parent and let parent. In fact, to those of you who have done any of these, I would like to pay tribute. I salute you, super helicopter parents.

C'mon you can tell us, have you done any of these things?


Image via Harbortrees/Flickr

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Caloden Caloden

I had to hold myself back from the offer to accompany my 18 year-old son to his first day of school at college this past January. Totally true.

Rose Martinez

well I do still feed soft food but my son is only 16 months and doesn't have molars so I thnk it's reasonable... but if I was interviewing someone and their mom came with I would never hire them, ever.

kisse... kisses5050

 True story: my first day at university my roommate stood at the closet and cried...I asked her what was  wrong... she said " I don't know what to wear, my mom isn't hear to tell me"

corri... corrinacs

A lot of those things are mighty off the top LOL.  BUT, I do feel that I have to take care of my son a little more thatn I would like.  He's got severe food allergies.  He's pretty good on his own, but he's still ony 4.  I feel like I have to watch him before he grabs something that will send him to the hospital.

Eques... EquestrianMom

Ah, as a woman who was previously married to a man who in 32 years hadn't moved but 3 miles from his childhood home, and who's mommy still came over to fold his socks (Just like he likes them!) don't overly helicopter parent. You will ruin your child. If a 32 yr old man still hasn't figured out how to fold his own blooming socks, theres an issue. And I divorced him, the socks were not the reason, but they sure as heck didn't help! LMAO! 

soranea soranea

LOL.  RE: #5, over the summer my 6 year old daughter insisted on wearing her bike helmet on a trip to the park one day (even though we were just walking)  she happily played on the climber and jungle gym for quite some time with her helmet buckled securely on her head.  She got some strange looks from some of the other parents there, who I tried to convince that, "really, it was her idea."   haha

azpia... azpianist

wow. I'm assuming sarcasm here- because, unless they're a baby, like with the soft foods, these are completely ridiculous. I can see them ruining a kid for good! Protectiveness is good, but you don't want to handicap the poor kid for life. I think that if a kid is 10 or 12 and can't do their own laundry there's an issue, and I would NEVER hire someone who's parents accompanied them to an interview.

Ta-ah Christine

Who the heck puts their 6 year old in diapers and in a crib? I am definitely not one of these parents. The only thing I can think of besides trying to keep my 2 year old safe of course is that sometimes I like to watch him through a one sided window at daycare to make sure he eats his breakfast. And maybe I only did that a couple of times. He will definitely know how to fold socks. No need to baby a grown man! He doesn't even like me to "baby" him now.

nonmember avatar ink sage

OMG, my parents helicoptered so much that I moved to a different country, LOL. They were not ready to accept generational changes like "do not accompany your grown child to a job interview". My dad did exactly that and to be fair he is a very loving dad who just did not move on with times. Obviously I did not interview well and to add insult to injury I became a constant joke to my friends. Finally, I landed a job by actually sneaking out of the house to interview....that was 25 years ago in a far off eastern country. I still visit them and I love them very very much, but, I had to move half a planet away to escape that. I now insist that my child be as independent of me as possible.

alt075 alt075

Rosemartinez, my daughter was 11 months with no teeth at all and she was eating pizza. She did not like the jared baby food at all. If en her like I fed us. Just to let you know their gums are really hard. lol. Not trying to be rude either.


I have a friend whom is a helicopter mom. It actually drives her kid batty. It's a shame.


 

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